George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Ka Menong from Baranggay Langgas, Infanta, Quezon Province. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!'
'Well, Ka Menong,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army'
'Right now,' said Ka Menong, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Tasyo, my next door neighbor Entong, and the entire Langgas team from the pakatan. That makes eight.'
Bush paused. 'I must tel l you, Ka Menong that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Aray..' said Ka Menong. 'I'll have to ring you back!'
Sure enough, the next day, Ka Menong called again.
'Mr. Bush, it is Ka Menong, I'm calling from Alitas, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be, Ka Menong?' Bush asked.
'Well, we have two jeepneys, a carabao and Tasyo's tractor.'
Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Ka Menong, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'
'Ay naku naman....' said Ka Menong. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Ka Menong rang again the next day.
'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne...... We've modified Tasyo's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the baranggay's generator. Four high school boys from Alitas have joined us as well!'
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Ka Menong, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
'Susmariosep....' said Ka Menong, 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Ka Menong called again the next day.
'Ganyan ka pala, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'
'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart.'
'Well,' said Ka Menong, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of alak, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!'
NOW THAT'S CALLED PILIPINO CONFIDENCE
