Here's my take...
1. The tiny purse problem
Okay, we don’t get why you insist on carrying a bag that’s so damn small, your boyfriend is forced to hold your cell phone. What if we get separated? All you’ll have is lipgloss to protect you.
Because it matches our outfit for the day! Duh! But really, we don't let you hold JUST our cellphones. YOU insist on holding on to our handbags as YOUR gesture of being a gentleman. We don't really mind. It's sweet, really, seeing you sling our handbags on your shoulder. We appreciate that. Snatchers and thieves will think twice on grabbing and running away with it.
What you don't know is that, however small our handbags are, it carries ALL of our essentials (read: what we need for that day). It's small but packs a punch. Contains our kikay kit, our CP, our thick wallets with our cards and such. Our nail files and cologne/perfume spray can double as items for self-defense.
2. All the unanswerable questions
Why is it that you inquire about things you really don’t want an answer to? When you ask your man if your hot officemate is pretty, what do you expect him to say? If he goes “Nah, not really,†you’ll argue, citing her flawless skin and silky hair. But if he responds with “Actually, she’s gorgeous!†you won’t speak to him for the rest of the night.
Of course, we want answers. But, of course, not all answers may not always sound good to us. Pero mainam din kung may explanation ka, di ba? Hindi naman kailangan thesis ang explanation.
If I ask you "Does this dress make me look fat?" We might get hurt and feel unattractive if you say yes. But if you say "Yes, it does not flatter your butt, but this other dress makes your legs look slimmer" or "Yes, I think it's too tight around the waist, but your cleavage looks... Wow!"
Don't answer our questions just because you want to shut us up or "pacify" us. Maganda rin if you suggest alternatives.
3. Female jean-etics
You own seven thousand pairs of jeans, yet you only have one ass. Really, it looks the same in all of them.
Really? You don't notice how the legs of this pair flare a bit, or this pair has embroidery, or this pair looks better with boots? Or that this pair is good for both semi-formal and casual settings? Really? Can't you see differences in the jeans? Can't you see which jeans make my butt look better? Can't you see details?
No wonder you wear the same style of shirt over and over again. Maybe you can try wearing something different every once in a while.
4. The salad scam
We don’t understand why you say you aren’t hungry, just order a salad, and then proceed to eat half your beau’s burger and all of his fries. Should he get two forks for his dessert even though you couldn’t possibly eat another bite?
You did say that I am getting fat. So I don't want really to gain weight because I want to look sexy for you. If I eat the whole burger, I won't be able to finish it. Besides, don't you want to share? I'll give you half my salad, if you give me half your burger. Please?
5. Your concept of quality time
How come after persuading your dude to tag along on your marathon shopping spree, watch six straight episodes of Grey’s Anatomy with you, and then endure a couples foot spa, you still complain, “We never spend any time together.â€
When we complain that, we complain NOT just the common time that we're in the same place together. I "drag" you with me because I want to share with you my interests, and I hope that you share with me what interest you as well... okay, we might not understand much while you talk about it, but we can learn it. We'll read about it later. (I swear to google about carburetors and motherboards and MMA, etc.)
6. An irrational fear of small creatures
You can eat raw fish, take kickboxing classes, and deal with your “monthly friend,†yet you still need us to kill the ipis in your bathroom.
Naman! IT'S IPIS!!! C'mon, it's eeewww! Aren't you the same with babies? You can face ipis but you can't even change a baby's dirty dypies.
7. “Good Guy†games
Women complain that all guys are jerks, but if one calls back too soon after a date, you get freaked out and tell all your friends he’s a stalker.
Isn't there a waiting period or something after the first date? Or maybe we call him stalker if there's no kilig factor there.
Fine! Not ALL guys are jerks. But ALL guys I've been with are jerks. So I'm sorry if I'm already "once bitten, and twice shy."
8. Your need for bathroom backup
We’ll never get your group girlie-trips to the banyo. Is it an anthropological herd instinct or a chance to make out with each other behind the stalls? We prefer imagining option B.
Simple. So we can talk about guys, or other girls, or help each other retouch hair and make-up, or troubleshoot another friend's problem, or boost each other's confidence before facing you guys again. We rely on our girl-friends because, they know the times when our hearts got broken, they've been through the good and bad times we've gone through with our exes, and they remind us many things. They're not always right, but it allows us to view different perspectives.
9. The great coldness conundrum
Regardless of the actual temperature, women always seem to think it’s arctic.
Well, it's not really that cold, not all the time. We're just checking if you notice some little details about us, paying attention to our gestures, or if you are really listening to what we're saying and not just staring at our boobs and legs all this time. Thank you for offering me your jacket! *kilig*
But if we're in a relationship na, your jacket is not enough. Put your arm around us. Hug us. Touch us. We like it. I know you do too!
10. Your idea of bedhead
Why is it that you’ll spend close to an hour in front of the mirror, spraying and gelling and blow-drying until you’ve gotten your hair to look exactly the way it did when you woke up that morning?
Yeahhh... about that. It's like a no-make-up make-up. I know it takes time, but the 'do and make-up will last until I get back to bed that evening.
Besides, don't you like us looking like we still have the afterglow of last night?
What do you want me to do? Not shower and wash my face before I leave the door? If that's how you do it, uhm... That doesn't work for us.
What do you think guys?
PS. Not ALL women are really the same, just as not ALL men are the same. Don't forget about individual differences.
