I’ve been rejected more times than I care to count. I’m willing to bet that I’ve been rejected more than most of you guys. I know every single impuse that springs up. You want to yell at her. You want to argue. You want to cry, beg or mope your way into changing the answer. You want to do anything other than accept that things just aren’t going to go the way you want. I have been there, done that and posted the angsty LiveJournal emo posts where I knew they would see it and printed the t-shirt.Part of what changed things for me was learning that the best thing I could do was learn how to handle rejection with some grace and that the only truly acceptable response to being shot down is “Ok… well, thanks anyway.â€There’s almost literally nothing less attractive than someone who can’t take “no†for an answer. It’s a display of neediness and a lack of social intelligence that causes sex magically vanish into the ether alongside your dignity and self-respect.(This, I might point out, is a key component of why guys get stuck in The Friend Zone. They don’t want to accept that they’ve been rejected and thus try to hang around—as “friendsâ€â€”in hopes that if they hang in long enough and collect enough Friend Coupons, they can trade in that “No†for a “Yesâ€.)Learning how to be able to take rejection without falling to pieces meant having to accept that there would be people that would not like me the way that I wanted them to, and there was nothing I could do to change that.Paradoxically, this actually helped make me better at interacting with women. Y’see, a man who can take rejection with courtesy and a lack of drama is someone who is comfortable putting himself out there emotionally, and yet secure enough to know that a single rejection isn’t that big of a deal.A guy who can take a rejection without letting it destroy him is someone who has confidence and self-assurance. It may not help him with that particular woman, but that attitude makes him much more attractive than the one who lashes out or stores away all of his resentment and bitterness only to unleash it later like a passive-aggressive squirrel storing hate nuts for the winter.In it’s own way, accepting rejection without drama became remarkably liberating. Once I accepted that I couldn’t win everybody, I started to get over the fear of someone not liking me… and that in turn made me better able to recognize that my fear of rejection was part of a scarcity mindset. I was so hung up on getting this one person to like me that I made them the focus of my world and lost track of the fact that there would be other women out there—millions of them, in fact—and that if one didn’t like me, then there would be others who would. So why waste so much of my time and mental energy worrying about one “no†when I could get on with finding my next “yesâ€?Incidentally, another aspect of learning to accept rejection with some dignity means understanding that while she is not required to give you the relationship you may want, neither are you limited to what she is willing to offer. It’s perfectly fine to walk away2 to a “Let’s Just Be Friends†response. If you don’t want to be friends, there’s no point to trying to force yourself to do so, especially if you’re the sort of person who can’t compartmentalize one’s emotions well. Some people will get angry at this: “So you just hung around because you wanted to date me?†It’s ok that the answer is “yesâ€â€¦ provided you were honest and up front about this rather than trying to be “friend†under false pretenses. Better to be straight forward.Just understand that being friends isn’t the runner-up consolation prize for not getting the relationship; friends are fucking awesome, not the booby prize.[/color]
“I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED, YOU B*TCH!†toinkss...bitch & moan OR take it like a man
tinamaan ako dito hehehe
Hi.Hello E.Republic--just sharing an article from the great Harris O Malley“I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED, YOU B*TCH!†toinkss...bitch & moan OR take it like a man
