Thank you for sharing this, Fermina.
"So for many of us, it's first about unlearning how to flicker those gaslights and learning how to acknowledge and understand the feelings, opinions, and positions of the women in our lives."Hindi lang siguro to acknowledge and understand by the men, but also for the women to explain and assert feelings, opinions and positions.
In terms of biological make-up, our hormones make us often sensitive and emotional. A woman's rational side would prevent her from going along with the regular emotional roller coaster.
Pero, dahil sa culture na nakasanyan which instills, either consciously or unconsciously, the idea that women's opinions are second-rate to males, women would often opt not to speak out.
One way to counter this is that we, the women, should know when to speak our minds. If someone says "you're sensitive, emotional, crazy or defensive," magpaliwanag.
If a comment or a statement hurts, then tell them if the comment or statement hurt, and explain why. E.g. "Your remark is hurtful or insensitive because..." or "I was hurt when you said...."
In relation to the "gaslighting" subject, perhaps that's a reason why we women find means to validate ourselves. Or because hindi naihahapag on the table ang opinions, emotions, feelings natin (specially with men), we turn to other women to see if tama ba o may dahilan/basis ang mga iniisip o nararamdaman natin. Though helpful, this can be dangerous too. Minsan nagagatungan ang hindi naman pala nararapat gatungan.
Women are (generally) emotional. It can be used against us. It is up to us how and when to rationalize or act on those emotions, and assert those emotions if necessary.
Karelate ako eh. Hahaha
Kaya ang hirap mag-open up minsan. We get these kind of responses from men.
True. Pero if we don't open up, it will never stop.