I can’t express right now how happy I am of what has been happening to me lately. I have a lot to be thankful for. Much of what I am experiencing right now were the least of the things I expected to happen. As I have mentioned in one of my posts here, I am at a loss for the sadness and the restlessness that I went through during the first quarter of this year. I believe I have expressed thoroughly, though the ideas were not that written well, the heartbreaks, disappointments, lack of plans, lack of direction, and haphazard decisions, that later on I thought I was going to regret, but turned out to be just a stepping stone to the wonderful things I have discovered and about to discover now. And as I dig on, I want to be able to explain clearly what has been going on with me lately, and why am I so thankful for them.
Rediscovery. Well, I thought I knew myself already. And as I went through the shittiest stuff ever, I rediscovered how unutterably wrong I am, and how undoubtedly right I was. For starters, I thought I was super strong. No, make that ultra. Because I thought that talking about how you feel would make it easier. I was wrong. Talking about the stuff that hurts you doesn't always make it right. It doesn't always work like each time. It depends a lot on whom you tell them. There are just some friends that you know right away that they won’t fully get you, but at least they try to. And there are a few handful of friends, despite how vague you tell the story, they get you. Make no mistake. I had the pleasure of meeting up with an old friend about two weeks ago. It was one of the most intellectual, emotional, and mature conversations we shared. Ever. I felt awesome afterwards because that same old connection was still there, growing silently, stronger and steadier. We still finished each other’s sentences. You rarely find a friend like that. And no matter how selfish this may sound, but I felt more secure of the decisions that I chose to act on. I felt most of my confidence coming back.
New found friends, old-timers, and best pals. About this one, well, I certainly know who are those people who have stood by me all this time, and those that somehow just stood there with me without me knowing at all. I have had the pleasure of meeting these people at work to whom I owe a lot because they seem to know me so well already in less than a month. Well, I kinda doubted this really. Some say it takes time before you really get to know someone. But now I realized what the true secret in building relationships is: Never get off on the wrong foot. Start it right and do it right. Be thankful for both the good and the bad times. And if you truly treated someone as a friend, and somehow things just started to go bad, at the end of it all, you would still be able to treat this person with some ounce of respect. Because you were once friends after all.
Love that has always been there for you. I have fully forgiven those who have hurt me in the past and just recently in such a fashion that I don’t remember getting hurt anymore. I don’t even see the point in getting angry at all. And yes, I have come to acknowledge now certain individuals who have been there for me in silence, always in the background, but never left. Well, of course, my family is one. My friends are there, too. But you all know how it is to have someone special. It’s different. It’s definitely something else. And right now, I get to appreciate that feeling again. It’s just so awesome.
Yep, I am smiling silently on my own again.
