"Bus Driver"
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
"Proud fathers"
Four men were at a bar, chatting. One of the men went to restroom while other three men kept talking about their sons.
"I have to say, I was a little worried when my son told that he'll start working in a car store as a washer. But soon he got promoted to a salesman and he made so much money that he eventually bought the whole store. Now he's filthy rich and bought a brand new Mercedes for his friend as a birthday gift."
The second man nodded and said:
"I wasnät too sure for my sons future either when he started his own house selling company but now he has made a fortunate with it and just bought a villa for his friend as a birthday gift!"
The third man told:
"My son started as a cleaner in a stock market but soon he invested everything he had and won 3 billions. Now he lives in an island in Pacific Ocean and bought for a friend of his shares worth 1,5 millions!"
Then the fourth guy walked back from the restroom and the men told him that they've been telling stories about their sons so he started to speak:
"I must admit, my son is a disappointment. He started as a hairdresser and still does that after 15 years. I also recently found out that he's gay and has multiple boyfriends. But, there is little light ahead: he just had birthday and got a Mercedes, villa and shares worth 15, million for his birthday!"
"Smart employee "
A man use to work somewhere ones he got sick he called his employer to tell him he can't come on work today so he want a week long leave.
employee: "Boss i can't come to work today."
Boss : "why?"
employee : "boss i am sick"
Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife i keep fucking her ass until she start crying believe it or not anal makes me feel better, try it."
employee: "ok if you say so"
Later employee called back: "It worked. i am feeling better now. You have a nice house!"
