i know exactly how it feels. being kept in the dark amidst giving the person and your relationship another chance. though it may not be the very same M.O. as your guy, i went through the very same thing not so long ago. I had one account which was accesible to everyone, and another one i made for "fooling around". now, my girl was very much paranoid, being the not so techie type that she was. she always wondered why i would clear my browsers history and my YM's archive... in the end, curiosity got the best of her. it took her quite a while, but she figured out how to get my passwords using a widely used hacking tool called a keylogger. i am not really sure how exactly she came accross it, but she did.it was messed up for a while. we got back together, but things were not the same. i decided to close both friendster accounts to make up for it, and somehow, i still am making up for it.
common excuse na 'yan... i mean when he said "our relationship is deeper than that". if truly is, then why deprive you of the simple joy of being in the friends list of your guy? i know for some, its not such a big thing, but it really is a big issue which should not be overlooked. friendster is, after all, sort of like a public profile. and being a couple, your friends and your bf's friends would see it. take it from me, i know how being hounded by friends feels like...
my advice, talk it out. don't give in to the usual excuses. i won't be so cavalier as to say "leave the guy, move on" because i'm a guy too and i went through the same thing. just try and assess why you stayed in the first place, why you endured all these years. if you can honestly say that you can let go, then do so. but if deep in your heart you still love the guy, talk it out with him. there is nothing that can't be settled in the adult world with civilized conversations. let him understand how you feel. let him feel your hurt.