Actual letter of resignation from a PINOY employee at
Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently
resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I
have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these
is that my direct superiors have an intellect that
ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and
me during the commission of our duties, I can only
surmise that you are one of the few true genetic
wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every
little nuance of everything I do each time you happen
to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time,
but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
because I know how to network computer systems, and
you were apparently hired to provide amusement to
myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste"
for the hundredth time. You will never understand
computers.
Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives
you too many options. You will also never understand
why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain
it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny
new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly
looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed
useless look about you that may have worked for your
interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff,
hoping their talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you
are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and
laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the
Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to
change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy
reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation,
however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment,
it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation.
The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to
comment." I will have friends randomly call you over
the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I
know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the
system, and I know every password you have used for
the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am
going to publish your "favorites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your
useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita"
are not usually viewed favorably by the
administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take
pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to
mention that you were going to take pictures of
yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
erase them like the techno-moron you really are.
Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with
a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been
copied and kept in safe places pending the
authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try
to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One
word of this to anybody, and all of your little
twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
public. Never f*** with your systems administrator.
Why? Because they know what you do with all that free
time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
Cecilia
any comments on this?
may tama ba siya?
