COMICAL WARNINGS ON PRODUCTS:
Found on packets of Nytol (a herbal sleeping tablet) WARNING -- MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
On a blanket from Taiwan -- NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet, mounted mirror used by US cyclists -- REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR
ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo -- USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -- AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray -- THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -- TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,
ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids --
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE
PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT.
WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -- OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -- WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer -- DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos -- YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap -- DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
COMICAL WARNINGS ON PRODUCTS
On a Korean kitchen knife -- WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -- FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor -- NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS
OR GENITALS.
On a child's superman costume -- WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU
TO FLY.
