Author Topic: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored (SATIRE ONLY)  (Read 3730 times)


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China Uncensored is a weekly satire show produced by NTD Television. The views expressed do not necessarily represent those of Epoch Times.

The United States did something incredibly shocking and outrageous last Friday. They sent a ship…through the ocean. The South China Sea, to be exact – near the Paracel Islands. They’re about 200 miles from the coast of mainland China. And steering a ship near there is totally and completely legal—because it’s international waters. Unless you’re the Chinese regime, and the Paracel Islands are actually the Xisha Islands, which have been China’s territory since ancient times.

So how did the Chinese regime respond? By saying it will never allow the US to run amok in the South China Sea.The US is the “real trouble-maker in the South China Sea.” That’s according to an official editorial in the People’s Daily, the official newspaper of the Communist Party, and republished in English by my favorite state run media, the Global Times. You see, the People’s Daily knows that the US is just a little depressed right now, and the destroyer was “a way to release its depression.”

Anyway, the People’s Daily goes on to point out the America’s questionable timing, just when China and the Philippines were “restoring their ties.” It’s almost like the People’s Daily is implying that America is the jealous ex, trying to cause trouble during the Philippines’ first date with China. You know what this means? (excited) The People’s Daily watches China Uncensored!

Yes, Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte visited China last week, and made it very clear that things are changing. You can tell he was serious because he wore a tie.

"America has lost now. I’ve realigned myself in your ideological flow and maybe I will also go to Russia to talk to Putin and tell him that there are three of us against the world — China, Philippines and Russia. It’s the only way." — Rodrigo Duterte, President of The Philippines

As much as I would love to watch that sitcom, somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen. The Philippines had been a major thorn in the Chinese regime’s side over the South China Sea territorial dispute. But that’s changed after the Philippines elected their Duterte. He’s said the Philippines can’t win.

And that attitude might just be giving Duterte what he wants. According to Reuters, quoting sources inside China, “China would consider giving Philippine fishermen conditional access to disputed waters.” And sure, it sounds like a great deal. Get permission from China to fish in waters the UN tribunal just ruled belonged to the Philippines. As well as promises of $24 billion in loans and investments.

This could set a precedent for the other countries involved in territorial disputes with China over the South China Sea. Stick to your guns and keep claiming the territory and end up with nothing, or give in to China in exchange for at least some limited rights. And maybe some money as well.

And how is the US reacting to all of this? Well, other than sending a destroyer through the South China Sea? They’re totally cool with China and the Philippines’ new bromance. And maybe the US and the Philippines can still be friends. Awww. Guess we need to make some room on the sitcom couch. Japan, you want to get in here, too?

See? Territorial disputes aren’t that bad after all. So what do you think of the US running amok in the South China Sea?

« Last Edit: October 30, 2016, 09:20:49 pm by bodieph »


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2016, 05:16:44 am »
why is this here? this is satire, it says so in the first sentence. this shouldn't be a political discussion at all


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2016, 06:06:04 am »
better be on Humor Section....


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2016, 10:24:56 am »
Pagkakita kasi nang anti US article copy paste agad without even reading first haha.


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2016, 11:21:29 am »
Arsy ko....


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2016, 12:19:27 am »
This is misleading. Wrong board ka, TS.

Under this board it, made the thread's title reads like genuine. This should be posted under Humor or Entertaiment section.  SMH...
If Only Close Minds Came With Close Mouth


Re: US “Running Amok” in South China Sea | China Uncensored (SATIRE ONLY)
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2016, 02:38:30 am »
Ganyan talaga si a7x
« Last Edit: November 08, 2016, 03:07:54 am by bodieph »
a7x dutertard na, bisakol pa