Author Topic: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?  (Read 5762 times)


Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« on: July 03, 2014, 08:37:36 am »

Everyone knows a Michael Bay popcorn blockbuster is never going to be considered a cinema masterpiece. The same tricks—explosions, 360 degree shots, lamp posts, etc.—are used over and over again. But he's entertaining! Tony Zhou of Every Frame a Painting goes a little deeper to explain Bay's 'Bayhem' bag of tricks and why Bay just isn't a director that movie buffs like.

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Now, we could sit here all day arguing about whether or not Michael Bay is a “true artist,” but One thing I think we can all agree on, however, is that he’s is an interesting guy, and has an awesome hair  :D

GQ finally published their full oral history that was previously teased, and I urge you to check out the whole thing.


“I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.” -Michael Bay


Michael Bay's essential rules of film making

1. Style. Style. Style.

If you take one thing from this piece, let it be what I told that pipsqueak reporter for GQ: I don’t change my style for anyone. Pussies do that. When people leave a Michael Bay film, they may not understand the story, or know what it was about, or remember anything about it, but they sure as shit know that Michael Bay made it. That’s how you get your name above the marquee, or spelled out in cocaine on the hood of a Lamborghini.

2. Be The Decider

I have a thing I like to call the two-second rule: If it can’t be communicated in two seconds, it’s not worth saying. I got my start making commercials, where if people aren’t hooked immediately, they’re flipping channels. That’s why you have to know what kind of thing you’re making in every second of every shot. You think an audience is going to think for themselves? WRONG. You’re the one with the camera, you do the thinking for them. That goes true whether the message is BUY THIS SOAP or THIS ROBOT’S AWESOME. Everything’s gotta have a message. More meaningful that way.

3. Sluts Or Clowns? The Eternal Question.

Once you’re the decider, one of the main things you have to decide is whether a character is a slut or a clown. One of the things they don’t teach you in film school is that everyone in the world is either a slut or a clown. The big buff guy doing curls, his daughter played by a South American pop star, the Victoria’s Secret models doing crotch lifts in the background while the robots are punching – those are the sluts. Thing about sluts is, you can never have too many of them. If there aren’t enough sluts in the movie, guess what, write them in. Don’t be afraid to get creative. Script calls for a gun fight at a pizza place? Guess what, maybe it takes place at a high school girls’ pool party instead. Does the script have a super serious scientist guy in it? Put some glasses on a European porn star and BOOM, now it’s a super serious slutty scientist with huge cans. In fact, that makes it even better, it’s important to have a variety of sluts in your movie. Shows versatility.

Of course, the characters can’t all be sluts, because you have to have conflict. Without conflict, it’s just one long bikini pool party and I already shot that for a Kraft singles commercial. For me the ultimate conflict is between sluts and all the clowns they have to share the planet with. No reason to get down about it, moping is for suckers. The upside is, clowns make great comic relief. Maybe they’re too fat, or too hairy, or their short clown feet don’t reach the floor when they’re riding a jet ski or when The Rock is holding them by their neck for fun. That’s funny! Don’t be afraid to get really comedic with it. Another thing that’s always funny is a clown that’s horny for a slut. Maybe the hotel paying you to shoot there has a maid who no speaka English but who sees Will Smith and has to have a piece. Maybe there’s a gaywad that loves The Rock, or a horny midget robot who wants to hump Megan Fox – the possibilities are endless. Midgets, fatties, homos, nerds, Mexicans – the world is my crapestry.

4. Planes. Love ‘Em.

If you’ve watched my movies, you’ve probably noticed that I try to put a plane flying overhead in the beginning of all them, regardless of what they’re about. Nothing grounds a story like a plane flying over head. It’s a metaphor, stupid. Anyway, when I’m not shooting planes, I like to be shooting from planes. Like I said, style is everything. So you gotta ask yourself, what’s more important in this story? The characters, or the Samson-maned Adonis circling overhead shooting them from an Apache? It also makes a great contract rider. You know how Van Halen demanded a highball glass full of brown M&Ms or else they wouldn’t go onstage, just to make sure the promoter was paying attention? It’s the same with me – no chopper, no movie. Also, I don’t shoot without Cherry Starburst. Fact.

5. You Can Never Have Enough Flags

The cool thing about America is that the American flag is a badass. Shoot that sucker from a low angle, spinning around it with teal and orange filters and it looks almost as pretty as a slut. Another great thing is that everything can be a metaphor for America. EVERYTHING. Bodybuilding thugs? America. Black cops in sweet rides? America. Island prison? America. Shape-shifting robots? America. Asteroids? America. America? America. Making stuff look great gets butts in the seats, but it’s that subtext shit that keeps them there.

6. All Minor Characters Have One Obsession

Every person in the world has one thing about them that makes them memorable. It’s boring if a minor character is just a “cop” or a “urologist.” People remember my movies because I treat minor characters the way I treat nicknaming my assistants. Chubs. Tongue Stud. Star Wars. Stryper Guy. Pube Face. Don’t overthink things, just take a look at someone and immediately classify them. Remember: two-second rule.

7. Everything Is Cocks

Like I said, everything is a metaphor for America. But a leitmotif also helps, and I find one that’s really helpful is dicks going into stuff. Car crashing into building? Cock. Sword stabbing a robot? Cock. Giant drill drilling into an asteroid? Cock (wasn’t even very subtle with that one, was I). You gotta get people hooked, and what do people like more than sex? Nothing. Think of every scene as a porno.

8. The Camera Is A Shark

This nerd assistant I had for a few weeks one time told that sharks die if they stop swimming or something. The camera is like that. It should always be moving. Just pretend it’s a shark, paint teeth on your lenses like a WWII fighter if you have to. Tracking, spinning, tilting, craning, flying overhead in a decommissioned Warthog – as soon as the camera stops moving, people fall asleep. For my next film I’m thinking of hiring a juggler and having him just juggle three IMAX cameras while the sluts are dancing or whatever and then I’ll just cut real fast between the three. Kinetic! Excitement! Wouldn’t that be awesome? Whoa, I just had a vision of a guy juggling sharks and split the front of my Under Armor All-Weather Track Pants.

9. Catch Phrases.

Like I said, you don’t want these toads thinking for themselves. But if you just borrow the way they talk, it’ll make them feel like they’re participating. “I’m in Miami, bitch.” “The needs of the many outweigh the few.” “My bologna has a first name.” Just grab them from wherever – rap songs, Star Trek, 30-year-old commercials – and sprinkle them liberally throughout the script. Nothing makes toads feel like they’re involved in your world like speaking to them in their own croaks and ribbits. That I’ve always been a populist filmmaker is one of the keys to my success.

Ok E.Republic remember what we've learned here today – clowns, sluts, sharks, catch phrase, porno, flags, two-second rule, and above all, don't be a pussy.  :D

FD, Bay-ing out!


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2014, 10:05:32 am »
He seems to repeat himself in certain seens and his obsession with Megan Fox who he considered a bad actress yet he cast her again in TMNT


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2014, 10:39:05 am »
He seems to repeat himself in certain seens and his obsession with Megan Fox who he considered a bad actress yet he cast her again in TMNT

maybe just because,Megan Fox washed Bay Ferrari-again?

This story sounds bogus, though.Reports Jason Solomons of the Guardian:


Talking to Megan Fox who was in town for the Transformers 2 premiere, I found her more forthright and intelligent than her performance in the mega-hit would suggest [funny how staring at a girl's tits can so raise your perception of her intelligence -Ed.]. The role demands that she drapes [sic] herself over motorbikes and runs around in a vest. How did she get the part which has made her what lads’ mags call the “hottest girl on the planet?”  She told me she went to director Michael Bay’s house to audition and he made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her. She said she didn’t know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed. “Er, I don’t know where it is either.” via

Michael Bay does use the phrase “wash my Ferrari” as a euphemism for oral sex (which he prefers to receive in a freshly-washed Ferrari?) EH. imagine Megan Fox t*ts & all while she wash your car spies  ;D


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2014, 03:20:31 pm »
personally di ko nagustuhan ung unang mga transformers films. and sa mga review ng bagong transformers at sa mga comments sa forums ng mga nakapanuod na, pangit at walang sense daw ang story.

more of effects lang tong si michael bay. storywise connection sa audience? olats siya.


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2014, 04:26:20 am »
Pearl Harbor & Armageddon? siguro medyo nadala lang siya sa CGI kaya nakalimutan na ang plot ::laffman

it ain't over. . .till its over


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2014, 06:42:59 am »
its true if you follow or been watching transformers when you were a kid , you will say the story too way off how things happen  laffman::

but it's Bay , no matter what they said it will sell to some viewers


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2014, 06:18:41 am »
I just found a video dissecting Bay-hem.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 06:24:53 am by xeoxander01 »


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2014, 07:17:10 am »
YES, but hes SO BAD hes GOOD

and we are not gonna stop watching whatever he makes


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2014, 11:45:05 am »
gusto ata ng mga haters mag-iyakan mga robots


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2014, 02:02:57 pm »
di ba dapat mga script writers at producers may kasalan ?

agent 007

Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2014, 10:02:02 pm »
Micheal Bay kasi sanay sa fast paced environment dahil nag simula sya sa mga tv commercial as a director so nadala nya yun sa big screen which is not too bad dahil ayaw naman naten nabibitin sa kewento, siguro lang ang ayaw ko lang lalo na sa transformer na movie ay na iba ng konti ang storyline kinalakihan ko kasi ang transfomers hanggang sa story na namatay si prime ay alam ko, medyo disappointed lang ako sa takbo ng kwento lalo ng itong last movie.

agent 007

Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2014, 10:55:40 pm »
found this in youtube medyo natawa kasi ako eh

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Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2014, 01:02:55 am »
He is a good director in terms of action films/sequence. The Rock, Bad Boys, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor.


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2014, 11:13:09 am »
Maybe because his tight shots of characters he lifted from old movies like West Side Story so this generation of viewers doesn't get thas an Oscar award winning shots and movement. He maximizing the visual impact like old style of directing of Cicele B. DeMille or even the scene in Pearl Harbor of Cuba Gooding its same scene of Luke in Star Wars inside the Millenium Falcon.


What If Michael Bay directed "UP"?
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2014, 04:30:17 am »
YouTube user MrStratman7 has now taken it upon himself to poke gentle fun at Bay's signature style, imitating the director's techniques in a parodic trailer for Up, of all things. via

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explosions here & there...

« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 04:34:11 am by FerminaDaza »


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2014, 08:30:54 pm »
Bayhem style you know what to expect when watching his movies.


Re: Is Michael Bay a bad movie director?
« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2014, 01:44:04 pm »
for the producers, if his movies sell then he's good... and so far his batting average is well above the expected ROI of the producers...