Need Help? Contact the Espiya Helpdesk. CLICK HERE


Author Topic: Joke! Joke! Joke!  (Read 41111 times)

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #50 on: September 01, 2014, 05:44:32 am »
"Nakakabingi"

Tatay: Anak, kinuha mo ba yung 500 pesos sa bulsa ng pantalon ko!!

Anak: Anong sabi mo Tay?

Tatay: Ang sabi ko, kung kinuha mo ba yun 500 pesos sa bulsa ng pantalon ko!! Ang bingi mo naman damuho ka!!

Anak: Hindi ko talaga marinig Tay!! Magpalit po kaya tayo ng pwesto?

Tatay: Oh sya sige... At subukan mong ikaw ang magtanong sa pwesto ko!!

(nagpalit ng pwesto)

Anak: Tay, saan kayo nagpunta ng babaeng kasama mo kahapon?

Tatay: Anong sabi mo anak?

Anak: Ang sabi ko, saan kayo ng nagpunta ng babaeng kasama mo kahapon?

Tatay: Oo nga... Tama ka anak, nakakabingi nga dito... Oh eto 1 thousand pesos mamasyal ka muna sa mall... hahaha.. bnana... laffman:: laffman:: laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #51 on: September 09, 2014, 12:25:50 am »
"First Boyfriend"

On wedding night, man asks his wife:

Husband: Akala ko ba first boyfriend mo ko?

Wife: Bakit?

Husband: Hindi ka na virgin?

Wife: Ikaw talaga ang first boyfriend ko. Yung iba, customers ko lang. Peks man!... laffman:: laffman:: laffman::...hahaha... bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

ardz5869

  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 137
  • Karma 10
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #52 on: September 09, 2014, 03:17:32 am »
ha ha ha ha ha ::uhaw

BlueAlphaZero

  • 2009 Cavaliers
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 3860
  • Karma 213
  • Gender: Male
  • We would like you to know a few things.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #53 on: September 09, 2014, 03:33:47 am »
With a tip of the hat to Pol Medina, Jr. (My apologies but I couldn't find the original strip.)

(Inaway ng tinderong si Mao ang tambay na si Bab dahil sinaktan niya si Pao, ang bading na anak ni Mao.)

Mao: Bakit ikaw suwag anak ko?

Bab: Tinawag niya akong kalabaw kaya sinuwag ko siya!

Pao: Kung ganon, pag tinawag mo akong aso, kakagatin kita! Pag tinawag mo akong pusa, kakalmutin kita! Pag tinawag mo akong kabayo, sisipain kita!

Bab: Eh paano kung tinawag kitang bakla?

Mao (kay Pao): Huwag na ikaw sagot.
Custodite fideliter quod quae credita est fideliter ad vos.

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #54 on: September 09, 2014, 05:43:15 am »
With a tip of the hat to Pol Medina, Jr. (My apologies but I couldn't find the original strip.)

(Inaway ng tinderong si Mao ang tambay na si Bab dahil sinaktan niya si Pao, ang bading na anak ni Mao.)

Mao: Bakit ikaw suwag anak ko?

Bab: Tinawag niya akong kalabaw kaya sinuwag ko siya!

Pao: Kung ganon, pag tinawag mo akong aso, kakagatin kita! Pag tinawag mo akong pusa, kakalmutin kita! Pag tinawag mo akong kabayo, sisipain kita!

Bab: Eh paano kung tinawag kitang bakla?

Mao (kay Pao): Huwag na ikaw sagot.

Thanks for sharing Bro... and keep it coming.
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

bouya harumichi

  • "i only fight with people who look stronger than me! Else i can't burn!"
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 532
  • Karma 76
  • Real Men Need To Stand Out
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #55 on: September 09, 2014, 12:15:07 pm »
"If you don't know defeat, it's just because you have only ever been picking on people that weaker than yourselve. There's a word for that: embarrassing!"

bouya harumichi

  • "i only fight with people who look stronger than me! Else i can't burn!"
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 532
  • Karma 76
  • Real Men Need To Stand Out
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #56 on: September 09, 2014, 12:17:32 pm »
TEACHER: Class, imagine that you are a multi-millionaire. Write down your plans and activities as such.

ALL: Yes, Maam!

TEACHER: Pedro, why are you not writing?

PEDRO: i am waiting for my secretary, I will just dictate everything to her.
"If you don't know defeat, it's just because you have only ever been picking on people that weaker than yourselve. There's a word for that: embarrassing!"

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #57 on: September 20, 2014, 04:08:26 am »
TEACHER: Class, imagine that you are a multi-millionaire. Write down your plans and activities as such.

ALL: Yes, Maam!

TEACHER: Pedro, why are you not writing?

PEDRO: i am waiting for my secretary, I will just dictate everything to her.

Thanks for sharing Dude... And keep it coming...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

tobey_parker

  • 2006 Vanguards
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 968
  • Karma 36
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm your friendly neighborhood
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #58 on: September 20, 2014, 06:33:49 am »
Dalawang magkaibigan, nag-uusap...


Tomas: wow pare! Nood ako sine kanina, ubos 1000 pesos ko!

Morato: ha? bakit?

Tomas: bili ako ng bili ng ticket, pinupunit nung babae sa pinto! adik ata...

 laffman::


simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #59 on: September 20, 2014, 06:39:34 am »
Dalawang magkaibigan, nag-uusap...


Tomas: wow pare! Nood ako sine kanina, ubos 1000 pesos ko!

Morato: ha? bakit?

Tomas: bili ako ng bili ng ticket, pinupunit nung babae sa pinto! adik ata...

 laffman::

Thanks for sharing Dude... And keep it coming...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

tobey_parker

  • 2006 Vanguards
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 968
  • Karma 36
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm your friendly neighborhood
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #60 on: September 20, 2014, 06:40:59 am »
Sozy Girl: where galling your water manong?

Lolo: sa ilog ineng.

SG: ha? You drink that water manong?

L: duuuhhh! Why, sa syudad ba chine-chew?


 laffman:: bnana

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #61 on: September 20, 2014, 06:42:27 am »
"Puting Buhok"

Anak: Ma! May puting buhok ka na pala!

Mama: Oo anak at ikaw ang may kasalanan! Sa bawat katangahan ng anak, puputi ang bawat piraso ng buhok ng ina.

Anak: Ah! Kaya pala puti lahat ang buhok ni Lola eh!... laffman:: laffman:: laffman::...hahaha... bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #62 on: November 17, 2014, 12:56:25 am »
Funny Condom Ad

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Cgm-63WtY[/youtube]

 bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #63 on: November 22, 2014, 02:34:17 am »
Nakakita na ba kayo ng mga hayop na nalasing? Tagay pa...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5E5TjkDvU0[/youtube]

 bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

yonipspy

  • 2006 Vanguards
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 1520
  • Karma 68
  • screw the screw
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #64 on: November 22, 2014, 04:31:03 am »
UP hahaha pawala sa stress :D:D:D:D


online 24/7

naruto789544

  • Anime Fans
  • Active - Top Level
  • *
  • Posts: 1653
  • Karma 103
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #65 on: November 22, 2014, 02:59:46 pm »
hahaha.... bakit ngayon ko lang nabasa thread na ito.... hilarious and funny... hope more will contribute... keep em coming as out ts said....

Julius_TOR

  • Never had sex. ✔ Never smoked. ✔ Never did drugs. ✔ Never drank alcohol. ✔ Never broke the law. ✔ Never skipped class. ✔
  • 2009 Cavaliers
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 272
  • Karma 8
  • Gender: Male
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #66 on: November 22, 2014, 11:23:51 pm »
Sakit tyan ko dito sa carwashan.. para akong baliw kakatawa dito kahit ang daming tao.. keep it up mga ka espiya bnana

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #67 on: December 08, 2014, 08:02:08 am »
"Patatas"

Nag-usap ang magkumare

Mare 1: Alam mo mare kapag nakikita ko ang patatas na yan, naaalala ko ang bayag ng mister ko.

Mare 2: Bakit? Ganyan ba kalaki?

Mare 1: Hindi. Ganyan "kalibag"! Hahahaha... bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #68 on: December 13, 2014, 07:18:28 am »
"National Hero"

Titser: Juan late ka na naman, lagi na lang! Feeling mo bright ka! Ok tingnan natin! Who's our National Hero?

Juan: Jose Rizal mam!

Titser: Nakatsamba ah!

Juan: Ikaw mam, kilala mo ba si Sonya?

Titser: Hindi, sino sya?

Juan: Yan kasi puro ka aral, kabet yon ng asawa mo! Hahahaha...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #69 on: December 14, 2014, 10:40:12 pm »
"Magbibigti"

Juan: Bakit may tali ka sa paa?

Pedro: Gusto ko ng mamatay, magbibigti ako!

Juan: Bakit sa paa? Dapat sa leeg?

Pedro: Sinubukan ko na sa leeg kanina, hindi ako makahinga eh...Hahahaha.....bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

dkaf90

  • 2006 Vanguards
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 133
  • Karma 4
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #70 on: December 14, 2014, 11:37:59 pm »

Mayaman at Mahirap

MILF ang term- pag mayaman

pag mahirap -INAHEN-    ::lmao ::drool

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #71 on: December 15, 2014, 02:14:03 am »
Mayaman at Mahirap

MILF ang term- pag mayaman

pag mahirap -INAHEN-    ::lmao ::drool

Thanks for sharing Bro... and keep it coming... bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #72 on: December 20, 2014, 11:18:56 pm »
"Buntis"

Martha: Mare, pwede ba, dito muna ako sa inyo? Lumayas kasi ako sa amin. Buntis kasi ako.

Guada: Ha? Dapat dun ka pumunta sa taong nakabuntis sa'yo.

Martha: Kaya nga dito ako pumunta, eh. Nandiyan ba si pare?..hahahaha...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

  • I Am A Living Legacy To The Leader Of The Band
  • Mature (18+)
  • Active - Two Stars
  • *
  • Posts: 267
  • Karma 149
  • Gender: Male
  • Share information so that others can benefit.
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #73 on: January 05, 2015, 11:03:04 pm »
"Tsaa"

Rich Vampire: Oorder ako ng fresh blood.

Ordinary Vampire: Sa akin isang order na dinuguan.

Poor Vampire: Hot water na lang sa akin.

Waiter: Bakit hot water lang po?

Poor Vampire: Nakapulot kasi ako ng napkin sa kanto. Mag-tsa tsaa na lang ako... Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

bored

  • Regional: Davao-CDO
  • Active - First Star
  • *
  • Posts: 99
  • Karma 8
Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #74 on: January 12, 2015, 09:57:30 pm »
"Tsaa"

Rich Vampire: Oorder ako ng fresh blood.

Ordinary Vampire: Sa akin isang order na dinuguan.

Poor Vampire: Hot water na lang sa akin.

Waiter: Bakit hot water lang po?

Poor Vampire: Nakapulot kasi ako ng napkin sa kanto. Mag-tsa tsaa na lang ako... Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::

hahahaha..binta sa akin ito hehehe.. ::lmao