Author Topic: Joke! Joke! Joke!  (Read 20802 times)

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #75 on: January 26, 2015, 12:49:23 am »
"Matapang"

Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng noh! Biruin mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute!

Juan: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?

Pedro: Dun sa burol nya!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #76 on: January 28, 2015, 11:00:58 pm »
"Common Sense"

Isang bata, nagpasa ng blank paper sa art teacher...

Teacher: Bakit blank ang work mo?

Bata: Nag-drawing po ako ng baka at damo ma'am.

Teacher: (tinignan ulit ang papel) Saan ang damo?

Bata: Ubos na po, kinain ng baka.

Teacher: (kamot sa ulo) Eh nasaan yong baka?

Bata: Ano pa gagawin ng baka dyan, eh wala ng damo syempre umalis na po. Common sense naman ma'am!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #77 on: February 08, 2015, 10:31:38 pm »

"Madamot"

Juan: Oys, Pedro ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.

Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?

Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!

Pedro: Ganun ba? Kuha ka na, kahit ilan! May langka pa doon!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

naruto789544

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #78 on: February 09, 2015, 10:05:53 am »
hindi naman pala madamot eh... kitams.... hehehe...  laffman::

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #79 on: February 11, 2015, 09:35:13 am »
Ito ang magandang palaro sa valentines party...

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=462208787263139

 bnana :applause bnana :applause bnana :applause
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #80 on: February 11, 2015, 10:16:44 am »
Ang lulupet ng mga moves sa dance craze na ito...

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153105400359640
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #81 on: February 14, 2015, 11:23:46 pm »
"Eyebol"


Pedro: May ka-eyebol ako mamaya pre, ano kaya itsura nya? Kasi sabi nya, may hawig s'yang celebrity! “SHA” daw ang palayaw niya!

Juan: Jackpot ka pare! Baka Shaina Magdayao o Sharon Cuneta!

(after eyebol, pedro went home…)

Juan: Kumusta eyebol pre? Bakit malungkot ka yata?

Pedro: dioniSHA pare!dioniSHA!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

weng151515


naruto789544

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #83 on: February 21, 2015, 05:59:24 am »
pa autograph na siya... hahaha...  laffman::

weng151515


simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #85 on: February 28, 2015, 06:52:57 am »
"Ulam"

Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!

Juan: Maniwala ako?!

Pedro: Totoo!

Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?

Pedro: Asin!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #86 on: March 02, 2015, 03:07:53 am »
"Maka-Diyos"

Dad: Mabait ba ang boyfriend mo?

Anak: Yes, Daddy.

Daddy: Maka-Diyos?

Anak: Sobra Dad.

Daddy: Nasaan siya?

Anak: Nandoon sa simbahan, nagmimisa!...Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

naruto789544

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #87 on: March 02, 2015, 09:28:26 am »
anak: siya din po magkakasal sa amin... hahaha...  laffman::

BlueAlphaZero

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #88 on: March 02, 2015, 01:30:45 pm »
With a tip of the hat to Marika Sazaki:

Lalaki: Kung kasalanan ang maging gwapo, sana'y mapatawad mo ako, binibini!

Babae: Hindi mo na kailangang humingi ng tawad, ginoo! Sapagkat ika'y walang kasalanan! Mula nang una tayong magkakilala hanggang sa ngayon, wala ka na talagang kasalanan!
Custodite fideliter quod quae credita est fideliter ad vos.

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #89 on: March 04, 2015, 11:38:16 pm »
"Annulment"

Isang mag-asawa ang dumulog sa korte para magpa-annul.

Judge: Ano ang dahilan bakit kayo magpapa-annul?

Babae: (Nagsalita habang nakayuko) Your honor, katawan lang ang gusto niya sa akin.

Judge: Anong prueba mo?

Babae: (Nakayuko pa rin) Tuwing nag love making kami tinatakpan niya ng towel ang mukha ko.

Judge: Ikaw Mister bakit mo ginawa yun?

Mister: No comment your Honor. Just see for yourself.

Misis: (Nagalit at iniharap ang mukha sa Judge) See bastos talaga ang taong yan.

Judge: (Habang nakatingin kay Misis.) Annulment petition granted. Ikaw naman lalaki, bakit ngayon ka lang nagfile ng annulment? Ang tiyaga mo....Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

markakol

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #90 on: March 06, 2015, 04:06:35 am »
LOLO: dati sa 20 pesos ko, may dala na ko pauwi na 5 kilong bigas,
2 kilong asukal, 2 lata ng gatas,
1kg na kape, 1 dosenang itlog,
1 dosenang de lata at noodles,
 may kasama shampoo at sabon.

APO: eh ngayon lolo?

LOLO: ngayon imposible na lahat eh... may CCTV camera na eh!

naruto789544

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #91 on: March 06, 2015, 09:39:27 am »
hahaha... tindi ni lolo...  laffman::

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #92 on: March 11, 2015, 11:41:00 pm »
"Joke Lang"

Ale: Doc, kamusta na po yung anak ko!?

Doc: Misis, wag po kayong mabibigla, kinalulungkot ko, ngunit kayo na po ang magpapaligo, magpapakain sa kanya at magaasikaso, sapagkat kailangang putulin ang kanyang mga paa at mga braso.

Ale: Ano po! Doc, bakit!? Baka ho nagkakamali lang kayo!?

Doc: Ninerbyos ka noh? Joke lang patay na siya!....Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #93 on: March 14, 2015, 11:43:48 pm »
"The Nerd And Hot & Sexy Classmate"

A nerd ask his hot and sexy classmate to have sex with him...

NERD: Sex tayo! Babayaran kita 1 thousand, bibilisan ko lang, tatapon ko yung 1 thousand sa sahig... tuwad ka habang pinupulot mo, pagtayo mo tapos na ko i-sex ka..

SEXY: Tawagan ko muna bf ko kung payag siya. (tinawagan nya..)

BF: Sige payag ako, bilisan mo lang pagtuwad para walang mangyari...

After 10 minutes bf calls..

BF: Ano nakuha mo na pera?

SEXY: aahhh..hindi pa eh! ahh! ahh!

BF: Eh bakit?

SEXY: Tig-pipiso eh!....Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

BlueAlphaZero

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #94 on: March 16, 2015, 10:06:34 pm »
With a tip of the hat to Pol Medina, Jr. once again:

(Nag-camping ang mga taga-Pugad Baboy. Sinalakay sila ng nga aswang. Nahuli ang bading na si Pao)

Pao: Saklolo! Saklolo! Iligtas ninyo ako! Ayokong kainin ng mga pangit na ito!

Polgas: Pao! Akala nila babae ka kaya ka nila gustong kainin! Sabihin mo lang na lalaki ka at pakakawalan ka nila! Sabihin mo na lalaki ka! Bilis na!

Pao (nag-isip pa muna tapos...): HINDEEEEEHHHH! BAAABAEEEH AKOOOHHH! BAAABAEEEEH AKOOOOHHH!
Custodite fideliter quod quae credita est fideliter ad vos.

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #95 on: March 21, 2015, 01:35:50 am »
"Ang Yabang"

KANO: I-tour mo nga ako sa Manila!

DRIVER: Sige sir..

KANO: Ilang years ginawa yang Araneta Coliseum?

DRIVER: More than 3 years sir.

KANO: Sus! Dun sa states 10 months lang yan!

DRIVER: Ah..

KANO: Yang Mall of Asia?

DRIVER: More than 2 years sir.

KANO: Ang tagal naman. Sa states 4 months lang yan. ah.. (Nainis at nayabangan ang driver)

KANO: Hhhmmm... Eh yang Ayala Center?

DRIVER: Ewan ko sir! WALA PA YAN KANINA EH......Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #96 on: April 19, 2015, 08:34:05 am »
"Suspek"

Sa presinto…

Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?

Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.

Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…

Pulis: Bakit?

Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!......Hahaha!...bnana laffman:: bnana laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

naruto789544

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #97 on: June 04, 2015, 11:36:26 am »
hahaha.. oo nga naman... di niyo kaya yan...  laffman::

BlueAlphaZero

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #98 on: June 04, 2015, 03:21:27 pm »
With a tip of the hat to Lyndon Gregorio:

Andrea: Now that we're a couple, you have to tell me to stop wearing sexy clothes.

Glen: But I like it when you wear sexy clothes.

Andrea: WAAAHHH! Gusto mong pinagpipiyestahan ako ng mga mata ng ibang lalaki! Gusto mong iniisip nila ang kaligayahang dulot ng katawan ko sa iyo! WAAAAHHH!

Glen: Fine, fine...Andrea, I don't want you to wear sexy clothes anymore.

Andrea (nag-isip muna tapos...): WAAAHHH! You're not my father! I'll wear what I want! WAAAHHH!
Custodite fideliter quod quae credita est fideliter ad vos.

agentfish

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #99 on: February 01, 2016, 01:47:38 am »
Hearing

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?