Author Topic: Joke! Joke! Joke!  (Read 20803 times)

brandon_jom

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #25 on: July 27, 2014, 09:51:35 am »
Viagra

Pare 1: Pare may nabili akong viagra sa internet.

Pare 2: Safe ba yan? Subukan mo muna sa aso mo.

Pare 1: Tama! Ang talino mo talaga pare.

Sumunod na araw

Pare 2: O pare! Ano nangyari sa aso mo?

Pare 1: Ayun namaga yung pwet........hahaha..laffman::  bnana

Sira ulong pare...  laffman::
"All Day I Dream About X35"

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #26 on: July 31, 2014, 04:18:13 am »
Test

Tatay: Oh Anak! Bakit ka umiiyak?

Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa Test... Huhuhu!!!

Tatay: Aba, magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?

Anak: Pregnancy Test po, Tay........hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #27 on: August 01, 2014, 11:11:35 pm »
"Siopao"

Bogart: Miss pabili nga ng "siopao na babae"

Waitress: Ano po yun?

Bogart: Eh di yung may napkin sa ilalim! Behehehe...

Waitress: Ahhh.. Wala na po kami nun eh. Meron po dito "siopao na bading".

Bogart: Aba! Bago yan ah. Ano yan?

Waitress: May napkin din sa ilalim pero may ITLOG sa loob!...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2014, 07:52:28 am »
"Natuklaw"

Juan: Pare natuklaw ng cobra yung ari ko tulungan mo naman ako.

Pedro: Tatawag ako sa Doctor.

Pedro: (Tumawag sa Doctor) Doc natuklaw ng cobra ang kaibigan ko, ano dapat kong gawin?

Doctor: Sipsipin mo ang dugo kung saan natuklaw ang kaibigan mo.

Juan: Ano daw sabi ng Doctor?

Pedro: Mamamatay ka na raw!...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2014, 06:07:10 am »
"Fart"

pag AMERIKANO umutot, "Excuse me!"

pag BRITISH umutot, "Pardor me!"

pag SPANISH umutot, "Des pensa Amigo!"

pag PILIPINO umutot, "Hindi ako yun! Tangna mamatay na umutot!...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #30 on: August 04, 2014, 02:38:26 am »
"No Assignment"

Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng Titser namin kanina!

Inay: Very good anak! Ano ba ang tanong ng Titser ninyo?

Jun-Jun: "Sino ang walang assignment?"...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

Type_One

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #31 on: August 04, 2014, 08:48:18 am »

Best Answer Kapag Mag-aabot ng Pamasahe sa JEEP:

"MANOOOONG. BAYAD PO!"

——

‪#‎MedyoJinggoy‬

Manong: San galing ang 20?

Pasahero: Manong, wag niyo kong husgahan please. Ang perang yan ay hindi galing sa gobyerno.

—-

‪#‎MedyoParanoid‬
Manong: San yung bente?

Pasahero: Ano? Kaaabot ko lang nawala agad yung bente ko?!

—-

‪#‎MedyoMayabang‬

Manong: Estudyante?

Pasahero: Mechanical Engineer. 2010 Board Passer.

‪#‎MedyoHarotToTheNthPower‬

Manong: Estudyante?

Pasahero: Opo. 2nd year high school. Hindi pa nireregla pero may anim na crush na.

‪#‎MedyoNakahithitNgPentelpen‬

Manong: San ang baba ng bente?

Pasahero: Tung-inuhhh!! Naglalakad yung bente!!!!

‪#‎MedyoHarotPart2‬

Manong: San galing?

Pasahero: Nag group study po. Tapos alam niyo ba andun din yung crush ko. Magdamag niya akong tinuruan sa math. Tapos nung nag exam kanina, 0 nakuha ko. Hihi.

‪#‎MedyoDefensive‬

Manong: San galing?

Pasahero: Nagmotel. 3 hours kami dun. At wag kayong judgmental please. Gumawa lang kami ng loombands.

‪#‎MedyoHighblood‬

Manong: San ang baba?

Pasahero: Sa gitna ng kalsada. Para patay ako tapos kulong kayo.

‪#‎MedyoEmoH3artZ‬

Manong: Ilan dito sa 20?

Pasahero: Isa lang. Wag niyo na din sanang itanong kung bakit. Sanay na ako na palaging iniiwan. Kaya nasanay na rin akong mag-isa. Keep the change.

‪#‎MedyoTumaTumblr‬
Manong: Walang barya?

Pasahero: Yan tayo eh. Sobra sobra na nga ang binigay, pero parang kulang pa rin. Parang pag-ibig…
Be a Star but NEVER act friendly...
(Wipe Me Down)

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #32 on: August 05, 2014, 03:43:12 am »
"Impossible"

American: We were the first on who walk in the moon.

Pinoy: We’ll be the first one who will step in the sun!

American: Are you crazy? Its impossible, it’s too hot in there!

Pinoy: We’re not stupid, we’ll go there at night...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #33 on: August 05, 2014, 03:44:42 am »

Best Answer Kapag Mag-aabot ng Pamasahe sa JEEP:

"MANOOOONG. BAYAD PO!"

——

‪#‎MedyoJinggoy‬

Manong: San galing ang 20?

Pasahero: Manong, wag niyo kong husgahan please. Ang perang yan ay hindi galing sa gobyerno.

—-

‪#‎MedyoParanoid‬
Manong: San yung bente?

Pasahero: Ano? Kaaabot ko lang nawala agad yung bente ko?!

—-

‪#‎MedyoMayabang‬

Manong: Estudyante?

Pasahero: Mechanical Engineer. 2010 Board Passer.

‪#‎MedyoHarotToTheNthPower‬

Manong: Estudyante?

Pasahero: Opo. 2nd year high school. Hindi pa nireregla pero may anim na crush na.

‪#‎MedyoNakahithitNgPentelpen‬

Manong: San ang baba ng bente?

Pasahero: Tung-inuhhh!! Naglalakad yung bente!!!!

‪#‎MedyoHarotPart2‬

Manong: San galing?

Pasahero: Nag group study po. Tapos alam niyo ba andun din yung crush ko. Magdamag niya akong tinuruan sa math. Tapos nung nag exam kanina, 0 nakuha ko. Hihi.

‪#‎MedyoDefensive‬

Manong: San galing?

Pasahero: Nagmotel. 3 hours kami dun. At wag kayong judgmental please. Gumawa lang kami ng loombands.

‪#‎MedyoHighblood‬

Manong: San ang baba?

Pasahero: Sa gitna ng kalsada. Para patay ako tapos kulong kayo.

‪#‎MedyoEmoH3artZ‬

Manong: Ilan dito sa 20?

Pasahero: Isa lang. Wag niyo na din sanang itanong kung bakit. Sanay na ako na palaging iniiwan. Kaya nasanay na rin akong mag-isa. Keep the change.

‪#‎MedyoTumaTumblr‬
Manong: Walang barya?

Pasahero: Yan tayo eh. Sobra sobra na nga ang binigay, pero parang kulang pa rin. Parang pag-ibig…

Thanks Dud for sharing...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #34 on: August 06, 2014, 07:16:00 am »
"Gwapo vs Panget"

Kapag gwapo ang pinagpawisan, HOT
Pero kapag panget, DUGYOT.

Kapag gwapo ang nagpa-tattoo, ASTIG.
Kapag panget, ADIK.

Kapag gwapo ang tumitig, NAKAKAKILIG.
Pero kapag panget, MANYAKIS.

Kapag gwapo ang tumabi, SOULMATE.
Pero kapag panget, HOLDAPER...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #35 on: August 07, 2014, 02:32:30 am »
"500"

Anak: Nay, hingi sana ako 500?

Nanay: Ano! 400? Ang laki naman ng 300 na hinihingi mo!? Ano gagawin mo sa 200? Kala mo ba madali lang makahanap ng 100? 50 nga hirap ko na kitain, 20 pa kaya? Swerte ka may 10 pa ako. Oh! eto P5...

Anak: Tindi mo Nay! Akin na nga baka maging P1 pa yan...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #36 on: August 09, 2014, 02:26:31 am »
"Payabangan sa Jeep"

Girl: Bayad…

Driver: Ilan tong 50?

Girl: Isa lang kuya, Estudyante, Nursing sa Ateneo, Kasasakay lang.

Mama: (Nayabangan. Nagbayad ng 500) Manong Bayad..

Driver: (Galit) Ilan tong 500?

Mama: Isa lang! Keep the change. Seaman, kadarating lang galing US.

Sira Ulo: (Tumawa, Inabot ang 1000) Manong! Bayad…

Driver: (Galit na galit) Peste! Ilan tong 1000?

Sira Ulo: Tatlo, Isama mo na yung Nurse at Seaman. Keep the change. Galing Mental kalalabas lang!...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2014, 07:13:41 am »
"Bagong Kotse"

GF: Babe happy anniversary.

BF: Same to you babe. Nakita mo ba yung bagong kotseng naka-park sa labas?

GF: Yes Babe! Kitang-kita ko...(feeling excited)

BF: Ibinili kita ng toothbrush... ganun yung kulay...hahaha
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2014, 03:42:10 am »
"Nakatakas"

Baliw tumawag sa mental...

BALIW: Hello, may tao pa ba sa Room No. 28?

OPERATOR: Wala na. Bakit po?

BALIW: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ko!

OPERATOR: WTF! What The Fish!...hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2014, 06:23:16 am »
"Job Interview"

Boss: Ang kailangan namin dito ay yung maraming alam.

Juan: Kaga-graduate ko lang po.

Boss: Sori, makakaalis ka na hindi ka tanggap. Next!

Pedro: Good morning Sir!

Boss: Ikaw! Ano ang alam mo?

Pedro: Kaga-graduate ko lang po pero alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira, ang misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.

Boss: Tanggap ka na!... bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #40 on: August 13, 2014, 04:17:21 am »
"Wish"

A bus full of ugly people met a fairy who gives them one wish each.

The first said, "Make me gorgeous!"

And so the fairy did. The rest followed with the same wish.

When the fairy came to the last person, he was laughing as he said his wish:

"Make them all ugly again!"... bnana......hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

bored

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #41 on: August 13, 2014, 06:11:19 am »
"Wish"

A bus full of ugly people met a fairy who gives them one wish each.

The first said, "Make me gorgeous!"

And so the fairy did. The rest followed with the same wish.

When the fairy came to the last person, he was laughing as he said his wish:

"Make them all ugly again!"... bnana......hahaha...



lol..dila lang niya walang latay pagkatapos nyan hehe.. ::lmao

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #42 on: August 14, 2014, 08:39:59 am »


lol..dila lang niya walang latay pagkatapos nyan hehe.. ::lmao

Oo nga Bro. Malamang di na sya makababa ng buhay sa bus... laffman:: laffman:: laffman::
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #43 on: August 14, 2014, 08:43:14 am »
"Utot"

Pupil: Ma'am, bumubukol po ba ang utot?

Teacher: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot...

Pupil: Naku, patay! Tae na to!... bnana......hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #44 on: August 17, 2014, 05:53:42 am »
"Parachute"

Kapitan: Oh! Pedro, lundag na!

Pedro: Kapitan, pwede po bang magtanong bago ako lumundag?

Kapitan: Bakit?

Pedro: Paano po kung hindi bumuka itong parachute ko?

Kapitan: 'Wag kang magalala bata, me usapan na kami ng supplier. Kapag hindi bumuka... papalitan... laffman::...bnana......hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #45 on: August 20, 2014, 05:48:17 am »
"Magandang Name"

Jinky: Manny, pagmagkaka-anak uli tayo, ano magandang name?

Manny: Eh di, combine na lang natin at pangalanang "ManKy".

Aling Dionesia: Aba, kailangan kasali din pangalan ko dyan!

Manny: Talaga Nay? Eh ano dapat natin ipangalan?

Aling Dionesia: "DioManJi"........... laffman::...bnana......hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #46 on: August 25, 2014, 06:09:27 am »
"English Class"

Teacher: In my class, I don't want to hear you speaking Tagalog. Is that clear?

Student: Yes Ma'am!

Teacher: Ok. Let me know your name first. What's your name?

Student: My name is Earlyseven Strikeland Neverbroke.

Teacher: Wow! Are you Fil-Am?

Student: No Ma'am, its the English Term for my real name Agapito Hampaslupa Dimagiba..... laffman::...bnana......hahaha...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #47 on: August 30, 2014, 06:26:33 am »
"Saksi"

Pulis: Sino nakasaksi sa aksidente?

Tambay: Ako Sir! Kulay itim na van ang nakabangga.

Pulis: Nakuha mo ba yung plate number?

Tambay: Hindi Sir! Nakaturnilyo kasi.... bnana... ::lmao
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

호밀 크루즈

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #48 on: September 01, 2014, 05:29:54 am »
INTSIK: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, di kayo mabubuntis.
BABAE: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.
.
.
.
3 months later, galit si girl...
.
.
.
BABAE: BAKIT AKO NABUNTIS?!?
INTSIK: (Galit din) Baka hinubad mo!
DESTINY is not a matter of chance...It is a matter of CHOICE.

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #49 on: September 01, 2014, 05:41:52 am »
INTSIK: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, di kayo mabubuntis.
BABAE: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.
.
.
.
3 months later, galit si girl...
.
.
.
BABAE: BAKIT AKO NABUNTIS?!?
INTSIK: (Galit din) Baka hinubad mo!

Thanks for sharing dude...
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."