Author Topic: Joke! Joke! Joke!  (Read 20826 times)

simpleman1225

Joke! Joke! Joke!
« on: May 27, 2014, 05:43:10 am »
Marami sa atin ang mahilig sa mga jokes. Kaya naisipan ko mag-share ng mga joke na matagal ko ng alam para naman sa mas masayang buhay. Dito pwede mag-share ng kahit anong joke mapa-corny man o hindi at kahit anong klase. Umpisahan ko na... laffman:: laffman:: laffman:: laffman::


CUSTOMER: ang linis talaga ng resto niyo!
WAITER: salamat po, bakit niyo po nasabi?
CUSTOMER: kasi lahat ng pag kain niyo, lasang sabon!
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2014, 05:49:32 am »

Sakristan: Father, nakita ko po yung pilay.. Nagdadasal sa altar tapos tinapon ang saklay niya at naglalakad.
Pari: Diyos ko! Isa itong himala! Asan siya?
Sakristan: Andun po!.. Nadapa.. Basag ang MUKHA!
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2014, 12:18:13 am »
Kung ang tatay mo ay "BOMBAY"
At ang nanay mo naman ay "JAPANESE"
Ang tawag sa 'yo ay "BOMPANESE" bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2014, 12:20:02 am »
Eye check

Ben : Doktora, malabo na yata ang mga mata ko.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang legs ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang panty ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Loko! Bakit bumubukol ang pantalon mo!?
haha  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

mikespike

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2014, 04:59:06 am »
Eye check

Ben : Doktora, malabo na yata ang mga mata ko.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang legs ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang panty ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Loko! Bakit bumubukol ang pantalon mo!?
haha  bnana

Tawa naman ako lalo nasa bompanes hahahaa  ::laffman  ::fingerpower

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2014, 05:59:47 am »

JUAN:     "Oh! Pare kamusta na? Kamusta mga anak mo?

PEDRO:  "Hehe.. Ok lang naman, yung panganay ko Doctor na, yung inaanak mo Engineer at yung babae Nurse.
               Kaya lang yung bunso ko Magnanakaw."

JUAN:     "Ano? Bakit? At di mo na lang palayasin kung ganun?"

PEDRO:  "Hindi pwede pare, siya ang breadwinner namin, siya lang ang may trabaho eh..." bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2014, 12:53:51 am »
Pari:      Ano ipapangalan dito sa bata?

Ama:     CELPON, po father.

Pari:      Ano? Ba't naman iyon?

Ama:     Yong asawa ko po CELIA, tapos ako PONCIANO.

Pari:      Hay naku! Wala talagang ginawa mga taong to kundi i-combination mga pangalan nyo.

Pari:      Itong isa naman sino mga parents nito?

Ama2:   CHARMAINE AT ROGER po father!

Pari:      Hmmpp, maganda-ganda 'to so ano pangalan ng bata?

Ama2:   CHARGER po! bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2014, 11:55:42 pm »
Guro: Ano ang dapat gawin kapag lumindol??

Pepito: Buksan po ang ilaw!!!

Guro: Bakit?

Pepito: Kasi po sa kubo namin madalas lumindol pag gabi… pero kapag sinindihan ko na ang ilaw biglang tumitigil.  laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2014, 12:03:02 am »
Titser: Who is stronger? Men or Women?

Juana: Women are stronger than men.

Titser: Why?

Juana: Because, women can carry two mountains at the same time, while men can carry 2 eggs; take note with the help of a bird pa. Haha!  laffman:: ::lmao
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2014, 01:01:37 am »
Tawa naman ako lalo nasa bompanes hahahaa  ::laffman  ::fingerpower

Thanks mikespike.. More jokes to come. Tambay tambay lang pag may time.

"Masarap ang buhay kung laging masaya."
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

DesperadO

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2014, 05:16:14 am »
Hahaha dun ako natatawa sa mga grin jokes... ::lmao

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2014, 07:11:04 am »
A biker saw one girl about to jump off a bridge...so he stopped..

Biker: What are you doing?

Girl: Committing suicide.

Biker: Well before you die I wish to kiss u

Girl : Ok

(after kissing)

Biker : Wow! That was the best kiss in my life...but why are you committing suicide?

Girl : Because my parents don't like me dressing like a girl

BIKER JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE..
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

mikespike

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2014, 11:28:53 am »
A biker saw one girl about to jump off a bridge...so he stopped..

Biker: What are you doing?

Girl: Committing suicide.

Biker: Well before you die I wish to kiss u

Girl : Ok

(after kissing)

Biker : Wow! That was the best kiss in my life...but why are you committing suicide?

Girl : Because my parents don't like me dressing like a girl

BIKER JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE..

Eto ang boompanes :))   ::laffman

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2014, 12:25:38 am »
SA MENTAL HOSPITAL

DOCTOR: Kung sino ang mauunang makalabas dito sa pinto ay makakalabas na dito sa mental.

(Nag-unahan ang mga baliw.. pero may isang di tumakbo at ito'y tumatawa..)

DOCTOR: Aba, mukhang magaling na ang isang ito ha! Matanong nga..

DOCTOR: Bakit di ka nakipag-unahan sa kanila?

BALIW: Eh siraulo pala yung mga yan e.. paano sila makakalabas e nasa akin yung susi..

HAHAHA ibalik sa mental!!!hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2014, 01:49:13 am »
Facelift

Pasyente: Magkano ang facelift?

Doktora: Complete treatment ay P145,000

Pasyente: Mahal!!! Ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata???

Doktora: Eto tsupon, P20 lang!!! hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

lancehbk6

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2014, 03:55:26 am »
fresh jokes!! hehehe..

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2014, 11:05:33 pm »
Sulat para kay Camera 360

Dear Camera 360,

Salamat dahil marami kang panget na pinaganda kahit sa picture lamang...

Ang tindi mo isang click mo lang ang uling naging labanos.

Pero marami kang napahiya kasi sa picture artistahin ang mukha pero sa personal mukha palang sinumpa!!!hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2014, 03:23:50 am »
Condom vs Napkin

Condom: Alam mo napkin pag nagtrabaho ka, 1 week akong bakante...

Napkin: Tanga!!! Kapag ikaw pumalya, 9 months akong walang benta!!!hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2014, 11:01:37 pm »
MAY CHECKPOINT

Driver: Yung mga PANGET, pwede ng BUMABA. May CHECKPOINT kasi sa unahan. PABOR LANG.

Pasahero: Tapos, Kuya? Sino na po magda-drive ngayon? hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2014, 11:02:58 pm »
Letrang "F"

Si Juan takot na takot dahil bagsak sya sa isang subject...

Tatay: Anak ano itong "F" sa card mo ha!

Juan: (Nagiisip...) Ah! Tatay, "Fasado" po ibig sabihin nyan.

Tatay: Ahh... Akala ko "Ferfect"...hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2014, 02:27:10 am »
Kabit Ni Mister

Misis: Hoy! Walanghiya ka! Meron akong nabalitaan! May kabit ka palang 18 yrs old gago ka!

Mister: Sus! Huli ka na sa balita! 23 na s'ya ngayon!!!...hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2014, 04:26:27 am »
Aksidente

Dalaga: Ma, buntis po ako. Huhuhu...

Nanay: Ha? Pano nangyari yun?!

Dalaga: Mama, maniwala ka aksidente po ang nangyari!

Nanay: Aksidente?! Naglalakad ka sa kalye tapos nabunggo ka ng titi? Ganun ba?!...hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2014, 02:07:03 am »
Hindi Magiging Tayo

Boy: Hindi ata magiging tayo.

Girl: Bakit?

Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh.

Girl: Hindi noh! Gusto ka kaya ng kuya ko.

Boy: Yun na nga ee! Gusto ko rin sya.....hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."

subicboy

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2014, 02:51:23 am »
More!   ::laffman

simpleman1225

Re: Joke! Joke! Joke!
« Reply #24 on: July 27, 2014, 06:12:19 am »
Viagra

Pare 1: Pare may nabili akong viagra sa internet.

Pare 2: Safe ba yan? Subukan mo muna sa aso mo.

Pare 1: Tama! Ang talino mo talaga pare.

Sumunod na araw

Pare 2: O pare! Ano nangyari sa aso mo?

Pare 1: Ayun namaga yung pwet........hahaha..laffman::  bnana
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."