The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it. ~Truman Capote
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. ~H.L. Mencken, Notebooks, 1956
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure. ~Thomas Szasz