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Author Topic: HELP* (grammar team) :)  (Read 1689 times)

astigmaniac

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HELP* (grammar team) :)
« on: December 29, 2010, 09:23:38 am »
guys.. may ginawa kasi akong poem for my gf..
kaso di kasi ako confident sa Englishing ko eh..hehe
baka matulungan nyo ko dito.. kung may mali ba sa ginawa kong poem.. ty po.. :)



i dont know where to begin
words in my mind is scramblin'
this love poem i wrote for her
the girl i love most and i care

crazy but shes beautiful
clumsy but shes wonderful
she laughs loud and sincerely
she eat big and savory :)

our love story started odd
we shared moments happy and sad
i hold her hand and it felt good
and accidentally it changed the mood

since then i speak only her name
beats of my heart is not the same
containing the feelings that i hide
my love for her that i kept inside

she wear a smile that stuns me
and every word she speaks amuses me
her skin is as smooth as a flower
wanna make me touch it whenever

im so lucky to be love by her
if only i've met her sooner
everyday, my love for her is getting stronger
and i just love everything about her

agentspy

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Re: HELP* (grammar team) :)
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2010, 10:20:58 am »
guys.. may ginawa kasi akong poem for my gf..
kaso di kasi ako confident sa Englishing ko eh..hehe
baka matulungan nyo ko dito.. kung may mali ba sa ginawa kong poem.. ty po.. :)



i dont know where to begin
words in my mind is scramblin'
this love poem i wrote for her
the girl i love most and i care

crazy but shes beautiful
clumsy but shes wonderful
she laughs loud and sincerely
she eat big and savory :)

our love story started odd
we shared moments happy and sad
i hold her hand and it felt good
and accidentally it changed the mood

since then i speak only her name
beats of my heart is not the same
containing the feelings that i hide
my love for her that i kept inside

she wear a smile that stuns me
and every word she speaks amuses me
her skin is as smooth as a flower
wanna make me touch it whenever

im so lucky to be love by her
if only i've met her sooner
everyday, my love for her is getting stronger
and i just love everything about her


I'll won't totally rewrite it. Will do my best. Do you need some punctuations? Anyway, I'll just put them in.  ;D

I don't know where to begin
Words in my mind are scramblin'
This love poem I wrote for her
The girl I love most and care for

Crazy, but she's beautiful
Clumsy, but she's wonderful
She laughs loud and sincerely
She eats big and savory :)

Our love story started oddly
We shared happy and sad moments
I held her hand and it felt good
and accidentally, it changed the mood

Since then, I speak only her name
Beats of my heart were not the same
Containing the feelings that I hid
My love for her that I kept inside

She's wearing a smile that stunned me
and every word she spoke amused me
Her skin was as smooth as a flower
Wanna make me touch it whenever

I'm so lucky to be loved by her
If only I've met her sooner
Everyday, my love for her is getting stronger
and I just love everything about her


I'm pretty sure other spies can make your poem better lol.. just not in the mood right now, haven't slept yet haha!

astigmaniac

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  • Posts: 521
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Re: HELP* (grammar team) :)
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2010, 09:36:20 pm »
I'll won't totally rewrite it. Will do my best. Do you need some punctuations? Anyway, I'll just put them in.  ;D

I don't know where to begin
Words in my mind are scramblin'
This love poem I wrote for her
The girl I love most and care for

Crazy, but she's beautiful
Clumsy, but she's wonderful
She laughs loud and sincerely
She eats big and savory :)

Our love story started oddly
We shared happy and sad moments
I held her hand and it felt good
and accidentally, it changed the mood

Since then, I speak only her name
Beats of my heart were not the same
Containing the feelings that I hid
My love for her that I kept inside

She's wearing a smile that stunned me
and every word she spoke amused me
Her skin was as smooth as a flower
Wanna make me touch it whenever

I'm so lucky to be loved by her
If only I've met her sooner
Everyday, my love for her is getting stronger
and I just love everything about her


I'm pretty sure other spies can make your poem better lol.. just not in the mood right now, haven't slept yet haha!

kuya para sa current gf ko po itong poem na'to..tama lang po ba yung words? di tunog parang wala na kami??tama ba?hehe.. kc parang panay past tense..hehe.. mahina lng talaga ako sa grammar :)