Dear Husband:
>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
>I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
>show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
>tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
>and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
>negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
>sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
>you don't care about me oranything. Either you're cheating or you
don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
>away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
>
>Your EX-Wife
>
>Dear Ex-Wife
>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
>out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
>mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
>anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
>meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
>stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
>had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
>prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed
>fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After
>all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So
>when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
>quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
>you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you
have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter
>that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
>
>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>
>Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
