Topic: How to Inspire HIS strength through being more Feminine

[FerminaDaza]

When you nag, emasculate, and control, weak men will bend to your will and strong men will push you away...

Just found an article that can Help us/ladies practice staying feminine, without reverting back to a need to control things, and also, as a way to inspire our man to embrace more of a leadership role. It's a long read, did try to shorten it but still, i suggest if may time kyu , just click the link below annnnd preach it! 





1. Breath and Relax

He whose lead you decide to follow will make decisions based on what he thinks is the best course of action, and it may or may not have anything to do with your best idea. This doesn’t mean your idea wasn’t as good as his; that is irrelevant. It means that if being surrendered is more important to you than getting your own way, you will let him have his way, regardless of whether your traffic route/restaurant choice/dish-washing method/idea of romance is “better” or not.

When these discrepancies arise, remember that surrendering control to another person can bring up fears, anxieties, and insecurities, which, unchecked, can result in controlling, nagging, or harsh responses.

During these times, breath, relax, and ask yourself if his course of action, though not what you would do, is really going to put you or anyone else in severe danger?

Choosing to be more surrendered does not mean you become a robot or a doormat. If there are behaviors you genuinely don’t want or can’t put up with, you have the right to leave.

If someone is abusive towards you, physically or emotionally, then this is not the time to surrender, this is the time to get the hell out, and avoid the “evil bees.”

In most cases, once you are relaxed, you might find that you’ve suddenly lost the need to say anything at all. Or, if you still want to speak up, then…


2. Replace Demands and Judgements with Desires and Emotions

The idea that being in the more yin/feminine position in a relationship means that you never speak your mind is a myth. Many strong men who enjoy the leadership position will be quick to tell you that they don’t want a robot or a rag doll; they want a human being with a fully developed personality.

I personally was afraid that embracing the more surrendered role would mean I would never share any opinions again (and, as you probably already guessed, I’m a fairly opinionated person!). Interestingly enough, though, I actually find myself expressing myself MORE, not less, when I am in a more feminine space.

It is the way that you express yourself that might need to change. When we are afraid, we can latch onto control as a mechanism to keep things “safe.” Part of the practice of surrendering is about letting go of that control mechanism; however, that doesn’t mean you can’t still express your fears and desires.

For example, a controlling demand might be “Slow down and stop driving like a crazy person!” The more surrendered, open response would be something like, “When I see the speedometer go over 80, I get nervous.”

Or, to use the earlier example, “I’m really craving Pizzeria Y. I love their pepperoni mushroom,” instead of, “Ew, Pizza Place X is gross. Let’s get Pizzeria Y.”

Even the best of leaders are not mind-readers. It is a complete falsehood that if a man was a “real man,” than he would “just know” what to do without you needing to say anything. This is a ridiculously unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, and assuming that he will take care of everything without any input on your part is childish, spoiled behavior. He will NOT know that his fast driving makes you nervous, or that you are craving a certain kind of pizza, unless you speak up.[/b]

The trick is knowing how to express your needs without demanding them, and the key is to talk about your own feelings. Emotions are the realm of the feminine, so expressing your emotions will not undermine your yang partner’s authority the way a command or a judgement will.

Judgements and demands are disrespectful, and will either drive him away, or slowly *train* him into the more passive role, leaving it to be up to you to pick up the yang/masculine slack, and driving both of you into deeper resentment. Although you are not responsible for his ability to lead, you don’t need to make his job more difficult than is necessary.


(Most) men are not assholes. If you are in pain or need support, or have something that you desire, they will often feel empowered by being the one to “fix” whatever ails you, provided that you don’t undercut their masculine power first by making demands about it.


3. Practice Gratitude

One of the first yin/feminine practices I took on was the practice of gratitude. Gratitude can, of course, apply to being grateful for everything in your life, and focusing on what you have instead of what you do not have.

And, more specifically, I learned to receive and be grateful for compliments. Whenever someone complimented my outfit, or something I’d written, I learned to ignore the knee-jerk reaction to deflect it with modesty, and instead respond with a simple, “Thank you.”

Another gratitude practice that is specific to dealing with your yang partner is to *thank him*, rather than criticize him, for any attempts he makes at making you happy. This doesn’t mean you can’t also express a preference (see #2); it means that you should, first and foremost, praise what was given before asking for anything else.

The more gratitude you can express–and especially the more gratitude you can express for the things that men give you, and do for you, the more you will inspire him to do and give more.



4. Express Pleasure

This one is fairly straightforward: whether it’s some delicious food you’re eating (Mmmmmmmm!), a funny joke (laugh out loud without holding back!), or a tremendous orgasm building, express the pleasure that you’re feeling.

The yang/masculine partner is energized by the yin/feminine partner’s pleasure, gratitude, surrender, and joy. However, he doesn’t want a passive doll, he wants an alive, and fully expressed female. When he sees you delighting in certain things, he will likely want to find a way to give you more and more of those things.



5. Do Not Rescue Him; Be Willing to Let Things Fall Apart a Little

For me, this has been the toughest one, and it is the one that makes the biggest difference. Until I learned to do this in my relationship, I would practice the other four up to a point, and then I would revert back to a childish, controlling demeanor as soon as things–anything–that he was in charge of would start to go south.

When my fiance and I first moved in together, he had a habit of leaving his clothes all over the floor, and I would begrudgingly pick them up, put them in the hamper for him, and then yell at him for “making” me clean up after him.

Your man needs to know that if he screws up or drops the ball, you won’t immediately swoop in to clean up his mess. This is what a mother does for her child, not what an adult should be doing for another adult. Let him spill his own milk, and let him figure out how to clean it up himself. He will prove himself a capable man if you treat him that way.So much better to relax and let both of us be humans who make mistakes sometimes.


A final thought on being the yin/feminine partner: a musician friend of mine once said that he used to think he would have to choose between focusing on his career or focusing on a girl, until he met his current wife. She demonstrated such support for him that he came to realize, “I can’t really have one without the other.”

 When you nag, demand, emasculate, and control, weak men will bend to your will and strong men will push you away so that they can stay focused on their lives. When you can offer your surrender, compassion, and support, strong men will value your opinions and what you have to offer, and want to include you in everything they do.

Surrender, surrender, surrender: there is bliss, joy, and happiness to be found in surrendering, if you are willing to give up having total control over everything. It isn’t always easy, but it sure can be fun.


written by LIZLEIA http://ht.ly/lnDTm


ladies/yin, next time you catch yourself trying to control you or your partner, take a moment to be in the present, right here, right now, BREATHING DEEPLY.


@ spymen/yang, connect to your true self=MASCULINE. You don't need to be the "alpha" or the leader of the pack to attract a woman. You don’t need to be in charge of anyone except for yourself. And her. A woman only cares if you are able to lead those two people: you, and her.