Especially dedicated to All Modern Man
One day a man went to visit a doctor who was famous for his radical healing cures.'What is your problem?'asked the
doctor.'I am completely depressed,'said the man.After a brief consultation,the doctor said,'I will not give you tablets for
your depression.The circus is in town this weekend and I want you to go see the great clown,Grimaldi.'The man bowed his
head and said ,'My dear doctor,I am grimaldi.'We tend to fake our happiness when we are low,such is our shame of unhappiness.We are also keen to keep up
appearances,to put on a brave face,a stiff upper lip,a mask and a smile,for,like us,society does not tolerate
unhappiness well.As the poem goes,'Laugh and the world laughs with you;Weep and you weep alone.'
It is extremely rare for people to admit publicly to being sad,depressed,nervous,angry,jealous or unhappy - the shame
of it would be too much.From an early age (especially men)we have learned to hide and be dishonest about our
emotions,for fear of judgment and guilt.Common 'you should be ashamed of yourself' messages include :
- big boys don't cry
- 'take that look of your face.'
- 'How dare you...'
- 'don't be a cry baby.'
- 'pull yourself together.'
So we have learned to be secretive.We hide our feelings.We suppress our emotions.suppression,denial,rationalisation
and other defences any seem to work @ first,but they soon fail,for what feel like peace was only avoidance.
being secretive about your emotions does not heal your pain,it exacerbates it. For
90% of any pain comes from trying to keep the pain secret.You cannot keep a secret and let it go.By being dishonest about your pain,you stay in pain.
Dishonesty may appear to help you to get through your day,but it will always leave you in pain at night.
Healing is a process of Truth,and you cannot get truth via dishonesty.
Dishonesty is at it best,a control tactic;it is not a medicine.It cannot give you Peace.
You cannot heal in secret.You must be prepared to tell the whole truth to someone,to God,love ones.
Secrecy only adds to your pain,For
Secrecy feeds shame!Honesty lets the truth out,and the Truth eventually dispell all shame.
By being Honest about your most private self - judgments,the pain you feel begins to melt almost immediately;
By being open about your shame,the Agony is shared and quickly begins to fade;and by being truthful about
your fears,their tight,fixed grip instantly begins to loosen.
by being Honest,you discover you are no longer alone,and help is now at hand.
The very reasons i dedicate this post for guys/men is knowing how difficult it is to share your feelings.
Good communication skills were not part of your description.But Times have changed and we have no choice
but to Change with them.New skills must be Learned.A new awareness is Required.
To remain masculine and at the same time being able to express that feeling and stop thinking if
you express feelings you become a
'sissy' or a
'gay'"A MODERN MAN IS REQUIRED TO BE A WARRIOR BUT NOW MUST DEFEND HIMSELF W/O RETALIATING BUT BY BEING MORE EXPRESSIVE."
