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About my Friend and her Husband.... Need advise.....

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Stiffy:
This topic is related raised by "Without_You"....

May friend ako (girl) and her husband dumating na (seaman din). Nagtapat si lalaki, over-chat pa habang nasa barko pa si lalaki, na wala na s'yang feelings sa friend ko. Btw, they have 2 kids nga pala. Tinanong sya ng friend ko kung bakit ganun ang sinabi nya at anong reason kung bakit. Di sumagot si lalaki, basta lang daw ganun ang naramdaman nya.

Dumating na si lalaki came from US at sinundo ng friend ko. As usual pa rin ang pagsasama nila and they still do in normal relationship of husband and wife. So they have sex, magkatabi sa pagtulog, sabay kumain, etc. etc. etc... As in dumating ang time na nagtanong ulit ang friend ko kung ganon pa rin daw ba ang feelings ng hubby nya sa kanya, and the answer is "YES"...

Sa gabi gising ang husband nya, sa araw tulog. Yun pala, ka-chat ang kalaguyo nung husband nya (di pa sya sure kung foreigner yun na kasama din sa barko). May mga nakita s'yang pictures sa laptop ng hubby nya (way back) together with this foreign girl. Sabi ng hubby nya, kasama lang daw nya sa work dun sa barko. Ako rin nakita ko rin yung mga pictures, kasi pinakita nya sa akin personally yung mga pictures. Naka-embrace yung girl na todo-todo sa hubby nya in most of the pictures (friend ba yun?) and sobra ang sweet sa mga pictures nila.

Eto na, talagang ayaw na ng hubby nya and the guy told her to move on. Everyday na lang sya umiiyak, she thought na di magbabago sa kanya ang husband nya. Ginagawa naman nya ang tama bilang asawa nya at di rin sya nagloko ever since kahit wala ang asawa nya. Malungkot ang pasko nya dahil feeling nya di buo ang family nila. Di pa rin nya pinapaalam sa parents nya at sa mga anak nya. Ngayon, gusto na ng hubby nya na magbukod na sila ng mga anak nya and forget him at bibigyan na lang daw ng sustento.

Masakit di ba mga ka-espiya? Ganun-ganun na lang ba, pag wala ng naramdaman eh hiwalay na agad? Kung ano ang pinagbuklod ng Diyos at pinagsumpuan sa harap ng altar ay dapat bang kalimutan in just wink of an eye?

Ano ba ang pwede n'yong mai-advise sa friend ko at hirap na rin ang puso nya? Iniisip na lang nya na normal ang buhay nya (everyday) kahit deep inside malungkot ang nararamdaman nya. I told her to pray for it, GOD might give her miracle and everything might turn around. Di na rin nya alam ang gagawin nya lalo na pag sumakay na ng barko ang asawa nya in less than 2 months from now. Sa ngayon feeling martir sya, and she's doing everything just to work fine. Ako kasi naubusan na rin ng advise like; pray for it, lakasan nya ang loob nya, think happy moments with her kids and spend more time with them, window-shopping, go to mass every sunday, think of her job... Sabi ko nga baka pwedeng idemanda ang husband nyo, pero ano ba ang magiging consequenses nun?

Mga ka-espiya, ano ba ang maganda at tamang gawin ng friend ko?

Stiffy:
Mga ka-espiya, correction po. Di po related, same nature of work lang po.

leightot:
What she can do is dump him, make his life miserable by making him pay the highest amount of child support. If he can't meet his obligations with respect to child support call an attorney and let the law put him in jail for her. Another thing she can do is find one of his good looking friend invite him over right before her husband gets home and act like she's engaged in having sex with his friend by putting her face on his lap as soon as he walks in. Sorry I'm not trying to be disgusting, I'm just trying to give your friend some ammunition so she can fight back. I can feel her pain.

Stiffy:
Thanks Leightot.

I told her already to get a lawyer. Her husband wants to file an annulment and I told her let her husband to pay for everything, including the rent of her house to be, the new appliances and the support for the two kids including the education. So far, my friend would like it to be in legal.

I'm praying too that everything would turn around, because she love her husband so much.

leightot:
Yup just don't leave her, just keep on giving her advices mas kailngan ka nya. Sad to say but it happens sometimes in life, people do fall out of love with each other but use excuses to cover the problems within themselves and their way of thinking. Unfortunately, the decision as to what to do is down to her, at some point, one or both of them will make the decision to move on.

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