Topic: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last? [redefine]

[FerminaDaza]

What You Need To Know

• If you're a nice guy, don't fake the bad-boy thing, but be sure not to be Mr. Agreeable.
• Nice guys are beggars. Great guys are catches.

• Women want a man to own his identity and lead -- something even nice guys can pull off.

    Mr. Agreeable never gets the girl. He never gets the second date after the first because he's boring."


You hear this over and over again: Nice guys finish last. Women just don't want a nice guy; they want the jerk, the bad boy. So you think to yourself, “I've got to learn how to be a complete player. I've got to learn how to put women down. I’ve got to learn how to not call her, how to make her want me. I've got to play games. I've got to create attraction that way -- that's what's going to work.”

Guess what happens when the nice guy starts to do that? He can't make that work either. Because it’s not authentic. He doesn't own his words, he doesn't come across as that type of person and a woman can read right through it and know that he's just playing a game.

So what does he do? He does the right thing. He treats women with lots of respect. Women always seem to say to him, “I just want to be friends.” Well, do nice guys finish last? It's partially true.

Women don't really want the nice guy. They always say they want a nice guy, but what they really want is a great guy. A guy with principles. A guy who really understands and respects himself. Nice guys respect themselves in a way, but they always agree. Whenever they're out on a date with a woman, they're always agreeing with everything she says. She may say, “I love to eat eggs while hiking up a mountain.” And while the nice guy knows doing something like that will give him indigestion, he'll say, “Sounds great! I love to hike mountains while eating eggs, too!” She may tell him, “I really want to take a skydiving vacation.” The nice guy might have acrophobia, and still he'll say, “Me, too!”

The Nice Guy Defined

While the nice guy is an agreeable person, he's got no control over his life. He allows women to come into his life, he agrees with them on everything, and hopes and prays that these women will like him for being so agreeable. It's so important for women to like him, so he's Mr. Agreeable.

Mr. Agreeable never gets the girl. He never gets the second date after the first because he's boring. What being so agreeable tells a woman is that you do not have enough self-respect to stand up to your own values. You don't think enough of yourself to own your identity, so you become accommodating, inoffensive and boring. You become the boring nice guy nobody wants to date. When you’re attracted to a woman, you do everything you can to please her. She's got a cold? You’ll bring her cold medicine. She tells you she's got a headache tonight? You drive her home. She tells you that she can't see you this weekend, you'll say, “Oh, that's OK. We'll get together whenever you're ready.” You don't have a plan. You're wishy-washy on everything you do. You're Mr. Whatever-You-Want-To-Do.


Women want to be with a guy who knows he can actually get laid by other women but chooses to be with her.

The nice guy is actually giving up control over his life to the women he wants to date. He’s too scared to live his own life, too scared to do what he wants to do. Women don't want power over a man like that. What women want is a man. They want a leader -- a great guy who will lead them. A guy who, when he dates them, takes them places and takes care of things his way, who stands up for who he is and will debate her on topics if he doesn't agree with her.

Nice guys never stand up for themselves, because that’s what nice guys do -- they don't believe they can get women. They've got this fear that they can’t get the woman they truly want, so they take whatever they can get. They literally beg their way into a relationship. And a woman knows that from there on, she basically has him by the balls.

Be A Great Guy, Not A Nice Guy

f you're nice, that's great, but what you really want to be is a great guy. You want to be a man who treats people well and also stands up to his own principles. You want to be a man who stands on his own two feet and isn't afraid to stand up to a woman just because he’s attracted to her. You want to be a man who leads, a man who decides if he wants to pursue the relationship or not, not a nice guy who tries to conform to her wants every which way and puts himself in the beggar's role. Nice guys are beggars. Great guys are catches.

To get there, you have to truly believe it. You have to live your life in a way that you truly want and not give it up just to make your date happy. You have to know that you are a great, interesting person to date, that you can get the women you want and that you can get laid when you want. Women want to be with a guy who knows he can actually get laid by other women but chooses to be with her. Women don’t want to be with a guy because she is his only option.


If you’re nice at heart, you’re nice. You treat people well. Embrace it -- it’s a great quality to have. Don’t hide it by playing games and trying to be a bad boy. But what you need to do is be a great guy. Don’t be nice just to get a woman to like you. It never works.




Credit To David Wygant / Dating Expert




Many Thanks Espiya.net 

[Dairycow]

thanks sa share ate FD!
 
dami kong natutunan. hybrid pala ako, may pagka great-nice guy pala ako, mas magfocus ako sa pagiging Great Guy

[g_spot_stimulator1]

nice share mam

[xypherman]

thanks for the shared post FD....

tuloy naisip ko yung popular song na..
" ang gusto kong lalake ay maginoo pero medyo bastos..."

 

[Julius_TOR]

ito nga ang problema ko ngayun ehh.. i admit i am one of those Nice guy,, expecting and dreaming to have someone (girl) whom i appreaciate and admire most. i dont really have the guts(confidence) to confront a women just to talk to her,.. even though i almost have everything car, money, stable job,,,but still I AM LOVELESS.. hehe.. hindi naman ako pangit,, i have the looks both physical and mental..  but still i am not happy.. just because i am single.. i have a lot of freinds esp. girsl, meron ngang korean ehh pero,, wala pa rin ehh..

anyway thanks FD for your info,, it really helps me upon knowing and unveiling my identity... 

[Asinta-do]

Lintek yan kaya pala ako na busted! hahaha

Pero Honestly, i really really learned a lot. Thanks sa post miss FD.

[foshizzle]

ha! the story of my life

can't remember if it's from a movie or a book... a relatively bitter dude says "ultimately, girls want a nice guy but they pick the jerks/bad boys over the nice guy every single time because they think that they are so special and that they are THE ONE that could reach out and make them change" (not the exact words) para sa akin lang, i wouldn't mind finishing last. sabi nga ng iba if something is really really special, it's worth the wait. ang masakit lang nun, paano 'pag wala pala hinihintay 

[arabton]

simple.. be yourself.. wag mo ikahiya kung sino ka at ano ka... magbago ka man pero konti lang... wag yung boung ikaw na babaguhin mo...

wag nyo ko tularan, umayaw na ko sa modeling kasi ang dami nagdedemand sakin..




model ng corruption samin..haha

[FerminaDaza]

he he yavyuh all guys ! salamat sa pagbasa po

IMHO,i've been into a lot of dating[including blind dates---sa dami ,i should have a free dog!toinks]

masarap kasama,yun guy na,na ngli-lead,he knows where to take you,what to do.I mean usually kasi yun mga 'nice' medyo nag pi-play safe - tend to ask a woman a lot of question (kahit sa common sense yata ) na suprisingly,sila yun mga guys na'can't handle rejection,so they masks it with being too agreeable.

Even Nelson Mandela had an edge / prefers being a Great guy "No one can be that saccharine sweet all the time unless they’re a saint."

Anyways,just remember guys,how you were wired/male brains---YOU Always PROTECT.So don't make it appear that you always need a supply of 'band-aids & milk' especially during your DATES !

The bottom line? You don’t have to be an arrogant prick to land a hot babe, but you do have to have a backbone. You have to like yourself, feel confident and be able to stand up for yourself. Most women don’t really want a true bad boy, unless they’re mentally unstable. We just want a guy we can respect and who will respect us without kissing our ass 24/7. Women love a guy who treats them well, but we also love men with guts and the ability to speak up for themselves. Women want to feel protected and know that the guy they’re with will have their back, no matter what. Saying that women don’t like you because you’re a “nice guy” is a cop-out. Chances are it’s not simply because you’re nice; it’s because you’re behaving like a doormat.

  *root beer*

[subicboy]

ano ba meron ngaun at ang gaganda ng mga post dito?   

[geshpenst]

but milady, GREAT guys always tries to finish LAST. in BED!!

ayaw niya kayong naiiwang bitin right? 

[FerminaDaza]

but milady, GREAT guys always tries to finish LAST. in BED!!

ayaw niya kayong naiiwang bitin right? 

my point ka po milord !  but again,don't forget ,we heart foreplay & that starts outside the bedroom and for sure that lead us to a lot of satisfaction - guaranteed !    *root beer*

[Type_One]

i'd hafta give a lil bit of a BOO! on this. No offense, it's very enlightening for the many, good job =))...

[FerminaDaza]

i'd hafta give a lil bit of a BOO! on this. No offense, it's very enlightening for the many, good job =))...

won't mind a BOO! from you and seigneur zeki ! considering both of you were knowledgeable regarding this matter and i believe the "great" guys of Espiya.net  thanks typeone !

[namster]

kaya pala kalat ang mga babaeng may asawa na kung maka-asta ay mga PUTA...

[FerminaDaza]

kaya pala kalat ang mga babaeng may asawa na kung maka-asta ay mga PUTA...

hugs hugs hugs  much as I understand san ka nangagaling bro,I respect your Perspective 

and you could be right,some women are into masquerade/i]

M+M=B  [stands for Manipulation+Masquerade=B*TCH.]

[iskonoy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fz3zFqLc3E&ob=av3n

Here's some add-ons for that topic

The video says it all.

[iskonoy]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fz3zFqLc3E&ob=av3n[/youtube]


Here's some add-ons for that topic

The video says it all.

[w88_108]

naalala ko yung nabasa ko... ganito ung summary nun.. may isang manliligaw na sobra ng pinahihirapan nung babae.. pero hindi sumusuko at talagang pinakikita ang sobra nyang pagtitiyaga.. umabot sa point na naiinis na nagsobra ung babae.. ang sabi ng babae.. "ano ka ba pinahiya na kita, tinapakan ko na pagkatao at lahat-lahat hindi ka pa din tumitigil.. lahat ok lang sa'yo.. yan ang ayoko, ikaw mismo walang pagmamahal sa sarili mo at hinahayaan mo lang na tratuhin kita ng ganito.. kung ikaw walang pagmamahal sa sarili mo pano kita mamahalin.." mr. agreeable din kasi yung guy na nandun sa nabasa ko.. sayang hindi ko na maalala yung link nun..

[BlueAlphaZero]

"Finish last"? When exactly did relationships become a race or some such competitive activity?

When you start looking at your relationship as a game that you have to win and your partner as an opponent that you have to defeat, it's a safe bet that the whole thing will inevitably slide down the proverbial slippery slope until it reaches rock bottom.

If you want a game, go play Incident At Innspeak at the Espiya Cafe (pardon the plug  ). If you want a relationship that makes you and your partner happy, then always accord yourselves and accord each other the respect that the you would both wish to have.

naalala ko yung nabasa ko... ganito ung summary nun.. may isang manliligaw na sobra ng pinahihirapan nung babae.. pero hindi sumusuko at talagang pinakikita ang sobra nyang pagtitiyaga.. umabot sa point na naiinis na nagsobra ung babae.. ang sabi ng babae.. "ano ka ba pinahiya na kita, tinapakan ko na pagkatao at lahat-lahat hindi ka pa din tumitigil.. lahat ok lang sa'yo.. yan ang ayoko, ikaw mismo walang pagmamahal sa sarili mo at hinahayaan mo lang na tratuhin kita ng ganito.. kung ikaw walang pagmamahal sa sarili mo pano kita mamahalin.." mr. agreeable din kasi yung guy na nandun sa nabasa ko.. sayang hindi ko na maalala yung link nun..

On a slightly less serious note, I remember hearing a variation of that tale from an Englishman at a dinner party. The man's reply to the woman was this: "Of course I have some modicum of self-respect, darling. Do you think that was all confectioner's sugar that I put into your pastry?"
 

[FerminaDaza]

"Finish last"? When exactly did relationships become a race or some such competitive activity?

Hi Seigneur zeki! i stumble w/this article & i remember it was filed on dating category,so,I guess this mainly applies on-getting-to-know-stage OR Men-in-pursuit 

but of course i must agreed that Relationship is NOT a race that you have to make it FAST,A Relationship is something that you wanna make it LAST


@ bros iskonoy & Ron - thanks for sharing your thoughts too !
 
kampay ! *root beer*

[w88_108]

"Finish last"? When exactly did relationships become a race or some such competitive activity?

When you start looking at your relationship as a game that you have to win and your partner as an opponent that you have to defeat, it's a safe bet that the whole thing will inevitably slide down the proverbial slippery slope until it reaches rock bottom.

If you want a game, go play Incident At Innspeak at the Espiya Cafe (pardon the plug  ). If you want a relationship that makes you and your partner happy, then always accord yourselves and accord each other the respect that the you would both wish to have.

On a slightly less serious note, I remember hearing a variation of that tale from an Englishman at a dinner party. The man's reply to the woman was this: "Of course I have some modicum of self-respect, darling. Do you think that was all confectioner's sugar that I put into your pastry?"
 

panalo.. hahaha... 

Hi Seigneur zeki! i stumble w/this article & i remember it was filed on dating category,so,I guess this mainly applies on-getting-to-know-stage OR Men-in-pursuit 

but of course i must agreed that Relationship is NOT a race that you have to make it FAST,A Relationship is something that you wanna make it LAST


@ bros iskonoy & Ron - thanks for sharing your thoughts too !
 
kampay ! *root beer*

all in all.. it's not being what type or what kind.. just be the great one of yourself...
 

[KaMushroom]

i will misbehave if it turns you on

[dark_machine]

Become what you are, simple as that.

Sabi nga sa Bard Yard, Strong man stands for himself but stronger man stand for others.

Thanks for sharing mam FD. I always enjoy reading your posts. 

[geshpenst]

"Finish last"? When exactly did relationships become a race or some such competitive activity?

When you start looking at your relationship as a game that you have to win and your partner as an opponent that you have to defeat, it's a safe bet that the whole thing will inevitably slide down the proverbial slippery slope until it reaches rock bottom

not really YOUR partner. more of like OTHER guys. it's acquisition and maintenance.