Untold Pinoy Story No. 7
Pure Innuendoes
They were the best of friends. They were always seen together around
the University of the Philippines (UP) campus in Diliman: one was
undoubtedly a very good-looking guy and the other was unquestionably
a plain-looking guy. Opposites really attract. Hey, but they're both
brilliant students. Well, birds of the same feather also flock
together. Indeed, they were very close to each other. Unusually
close.
They were the perfect tandem. Like suman and ripe mango. Or nuts and
bolts. Peg and a hole.
They were both prot�g�es of then UP Student Council chairman
Chito Gascon. Soon, the good-looking guy took the helm as UP Student
Council chairman. But the best friends seem to follow each other's
path. The plain-looking guy also ran for the same position with the
all-out support of his good-looking friend. He won, of course.
The good-looking guy was the crush ng bayan of the iskolars ng
bayan.
During lunchtime, students of all persuasions flocked to the College
of Arts and Sciences (CAS) cafeteria to catch a glimpse of the good-
looking guy. Even singer-actress Regine Velasquez later admitted on
national television that she had a big crush on the good-looking
guy.
But loveless Regine's daring admission did not earn her even just a
movie date invitation from the good-looking guy; instead, the good-
looking guy merely flashed a demure smile in response to desperate
Regine's thinly-veiled date invitation.
But after finishing college, the best friends went their separate
ways. (Or so it seemed). The plain-looking guy pursued his law
studies and later taught law courses. The good-looking guy delivered
the evening news on TV, hosted a TV quiz show and wrote analytical
articles on pop culture. His good looks, intelligence and impeccable
manner endeared him to televiewers.
Despite their divergent career choices, the good-looking guy and the
plain-looking guy really seemed to follow each other's path. But
this time, their path led to a nice little apartment near the Ateneo
de Manila campus. And they shared that nice little apartment. Just
the two of them.
Yes, the plain-looking guy and the good-looking guy lived together.
Those gifted with wild imagination got titillated at the mere
thought of these two young men sharing a lovely apartment. The
moralists out there shook their heads at the mere thought of the
goings-on beyond that innocent-looking apartment door amid rows of
middle-class houses in Loyola Heights in Quezon City .
But the pair would not budge from their nest. Nor would they yield
to any pressure. Not even from the plain-looking guy's bible-reading
siblings who berated him for living with another guy. The plain-
looking guy's own family started to cast doubt about his
masculinity.
All telltale signs which have accumulated all those years could no
longer be ignored. People started talking openly about the two guys.
Speculations about the true nature of the pair's friendship became a
daily fodder for gossip mongers. The academic freedom which alma
mater UP's oblation symbolizes seemed to have gone beyond the duo's
lust for knowledge.
In order to prove to his family that he was not what they thought he
was, the plain-looking guy suddenly announced that he was getting
married. His family jumped with joy.
But the plain-looking guy's marriage did not dispel wild
speculations about his sexuality; instead, it only succeeded in
erasing any remaining doubt about his alleged agenda of using his
wife to finally succeed in his failed initial crack at pursuing his
lifelong dream.
And it was well worth his efforts. Because this former loser's
desperate act finally triumphed. Thanks to his wife.
However, the plain-looking guy's deep friendship with his good-
looking friend took a backseat as a result of the former's new civil
status. The plain-looking guy did not want to hurt his new wife's
flourishing career nor spoil his newfound success. That's why he
played his role as a good family man to the hilt. However, he had
not forgotten his good-looking best friend at all. As a token of
their undying friendship, the good-looking guy stood as one of the
godfathers of the plain-looking guy's first baby, together with Edu
Manzano, Cesar Montano, Cherie Gil, Ciara Sotto, Angeli Valenciano,
Fanny Serrano and a host of other household names. Of course, the
plain-looking guy's wife was clueless about her husband's past.
But the plain-looking guy's wife had her share of dark past. She is
a single mother who parted ways with her good-looking "first
husband" after she discovered that her good-looking "first husband"
was already married to another woman when she hastily married him
after she got pregnant at a young age. This meant that her marriage
to her good-looking "first husband" was not legally binding after
all. Now, the plain-looking guy was her knight-in-shining- armor who
rescued her from the stigma of being an unmarried mother.
Ironically, while her non-binding marriage with her good-
looking "first husband" was solemnized by several high-ranking
priests at the cavernous Manila Cathedral amid countless clicking
cameras and thousands of shrieking admirers several years ago, her
supposedly legitimate marriage with the plain-looking guy was
officiated not by a Catholic priest but by a pastor in a cramped
living room, with only few relatives and friends as witnesses.
Later, the good-looking guy reportedly got married also without
fanfare. They said that his bride was a creative consultant for ABS-
CBN Interactive. However, some women still believe and hope that he
is still unmarried to this day.
The good-looking guy soon rose to become ABS-CBN News Channel's
(ANC) Director for Current Affairs. He has been circling the globe
as host of ANC's weekly travel show, Executive Class.
Yes, the good-looking guy is David Celdran.
And the plain-looking guy is megastar Sharon Cuneta's husband,
Senator Francis "Kiko" Pangilinan.
